Dear (Insert Name Here)

Dear whoever it is that is in charge of not giving the writer's guild the monies, and who might be willing to pay me cash money for my Hollywood ideas and all the while not sully my good name and artistic integrity.

(ok, that is quite a mouthful, I should have just said "To Whom it May Concern")

Hello sir or madam

I am a flegling writer, chock filled with good ideas for TV show, so fear not advertisers no need to go into repeats with me around.

I will start with a few quick breakdowns of ideas I have for some of your best tv shows.

1- HEROES....ok this one is a given, Mohinder gets a girlfriend, her name is Jennifer Gordon, they are wildly in love and have some great make out scenes. She has a power, it really does not matter what it is, just that they are boyfriend girl friend.

2- The Office- ok, the office gets a new employee, her name is Jennifer Gordon, she has a BF already, we will just call him "bubs" for short, they are adorable, she is sassy and he is funny, they are both damn sexy. No one cares about the "Jim and Pam" thing anymore, no, it's all about Jenn and her bubs, America is riveted.

3- Dancing with the Stars - ok I know this is live and "unscripted" (lol) but let's just say that you need some new hosts because the ones you have are sort of lame, and are not ver good at the whole improve thing, so anyway you get a new Host/judge, her name is Jennfer Gordon, she has the people dance the normal dances, but then there is a round where the dancers dance new routines that she herself has choreographed, these dances are all named after hypo-allergenic dogs, for example she would say things like "tonight dancing the "Yorkie" is Jennie Garth and Derek", or even, "tonight dancing the peek-a-poo, Scary Spice and that hot Russian guy"

4- see how good I am with this list, imagine what I could so if you gave me a few minutes in the "David Letterman" zone.

so in short, here are a couple ideas for you to play with, I give them to you in good faith that you will return the favor by sending me monies, lots and lots of monies.

love
writer/scribe/dancing show host/ mixed media artist
Jennifer Gordon

um, so...yeah...

good morning!

ok, before I go into anything I need to make a confession, and it may change how a lot of you think about me.

you see.....last night I watched Dancing with the Stars, which in and of itself seems pretty lame on the outside, but wait...it's worse.

I voted, 6 times, online.

sigh, I voted for Jennie Garth, you see, I knew this would happen, I saw my 90210 Kelly Taylor dancing and I freaked, lost my mind.

It's the only explanation.

And there was Heroes....now I am not going to bore you with the details, but just note that I was glued, GLUED to the tv, which really is not something I like to be...So I need to set limits or really I would probably be watching every hair brained show on tv.

cough....ahem....moving on.

yesterday I made the new set of blocks I have pictured today, and I really think that they might be my favorite block set I have even made. I am trying hard to resist the urge to renew the listing on etsy almost constantly so they remain at the top...I jut want to scream out from the hill tops "look at these", yes, like a crazy person.

right now I am in an odd state of mind, I am very please with what I am doing creatively at the moment, which is good, but at the same time I am finding it very slow online...so a little part of me is panicking, and wondering if the time will soon come that I will need to get a "real job", to today, apart from making things and packaging I am going to try and spread my little wings and get some more exposure.

so what will that mean...not sure at the moment, but I will let you know as soon as I know.

with that I bid you a very fond farewell, this is blog post #297, so I only have a couple more posts until blog #300 and the "Blog LOVE" sale is over.

remember just to mention "blog love" in the message to seller section and wait for a new invoice to receive 20% off.

xoxoxo
jenn

Dear (Insert Name Here)

Dear guy who plays Mohinder on Heroes

(I know I could have googled his name or even read it under one of the many, many photos I've downloaded, but I can't take my eyes of the face)

how are you???? I'm really excited that Heroes will be back next week, not only because it's a good show but now I can see you again.

yeah, I'm kind of a stalker.

you see.....you my dear one are ridiculously good looking...no really. In fact you are so good looking it is beginning to become unnerving, as if you are a work of art come to life, or an alien....or that the baby jesus sent you to earth or something or other...

you get where I'm going with this.

I don't even know you're real name, nor do I want to...I don't care...(I sound like a frat boy hitting on a dumb slut).

I even asked my bubs if he was jealous of you he said of course he was but really he could not be mad, as you are that good looking.

Many months back I was talking with a straight male friend and even he said that you were so hot that you were making him feel "almost gay".

That is quite a power.

well, I've got nothing else to say as I know nothing about you, other than....I hope Heroes doesn't suck this year and I hope you don't die, or get a girlfriend on the show.

love
Jennifer Gordon

just me on a cold autumn morning,

hey everyone.

first once again I want to thank all of you who have been so wonderful with your comments, and emails of support during this week...during my semi breakdown and back again.

So, you are all wondering about Craftin Outlaws, how it went, was it fun....

Now, I am left wondering do I start with the good, or the bad...I never know, some people prefer it in a specific order, others all will nilly in a chronological order...I am going to start with the bad...

• Kate was supposed to get here on Friday night, staying with me for 2 days during the show time, but.......................instead she gets in a car accident in NYC and cannot come to the show, last I heard she was fine, but sore. Stupid NYC cab drivers!!

• While setting up for the show, I notice that Carla, you might know her as supastarr is set up right next to me, and I am a hundred shades of thrilled, I love her, but then I notice someone who is not Carla setting up next to me, I sheepishly try to tell them that they are in the wrong spot...but they don't care and set up next to me anyway....oh, and they are another collage artist...wtf?

• it's sort of slow....steady but slow...slow enough for me to panic

• at one point I was "this close" to selling my piece The Beekeeper's Wife, the women were fighting over whether or not to put it in the bedroom or living room, it was rather adorable, so then they ask me the price, and I politely tell them it's $100...the abruptly drop the piece back onto the table with a shocked looked on their face....all the while mumbling that it was beautiful, but not $100 beautiful......................................um, what? Really they said that, I tried to explain that it is two pieces each measuring 8x18 inches and that if they were in a gallery that piece would be priced at many hundreds of dollars, they did not seem to care....they just wandered away.

• AT one point when I was wandering around someone came to the table and my bubs was telling them that all my pieces were one of a kind and I had no prints, they went on to tell him that they were not one of a kind considering "all I was doing" was finding pieces out of magazines, all I can say is thank god I was not there, I think I would have burst into tears.

• Money wise.....I made less than I did last year, which is a disappointment as I have a $250 prescription to pick up in a few days...oh well.

OK.....................now the good (I am not a Debbie Downer)

• I bought (before the show even started and I thought I would do better) a beautiful new purse from a Vendor names Aqua Cherry....it's fantastic, it is hidden away right now to be given to me as a present, or else I would show a picture....but it is made from an amazing beige and dark brown fabric...it's looks like vintage French Wallpaper....it's amazing.

• My bubs was there to help me the whole day which was just the bee's knees, really!!!! We also got to see some of our favorite real life friends who came out to show their support.

• Megan from MoogansCreations was across from me, and like that was not wonderful enough, she made for me.....a custom "mean cheese" plush.

• I got to see a lot of the etsy people in "real life" and met a brand new glass jewelry person, also named Jennifer, you need to look at her shop, really beautiful.

• Did I mention my new purse....yeah I know I did, but really...it's that good.

• To make up for the mean things those few people said, I did hear a lot of more than wonderful feedback, in fact one young woman bought a collage and I swear she was almost crying, she was telling me she did not know a lot about art but she thought my work was "the prettiest she'd ever seen", and right there....that made the other not so nice stuff fade a way, a bit.

• whiskey drinks on a sunny but cool Saturday in Autumn...yup, sipping whiskey, selling art, and buying new purses....all with my bubs. In some ways, it was the perfect day.

So that was it, in a nutshell....now I know I should not even worry about the bad stuff, and in short I am not (anymore....Saturday night and Sunday...that was a different story). I very rarely do shows and this is sort of why, I am very, VERY sensitive about what I do, it takes a long time to build confidence and in a short instant it is whisked away, back down to nothing. I am left empty and tired when all is said and done.

That is how I am feeling now, you see....my world, my little world that I live in now is very safe, I make things I spend a lot of time alone in my studio, the real world being just a hum traffic outside my window. It had been a long time since I had to put myself out there like that, and I will say it did tire me out a lot more than I thought it would.

I spent most of Sunday in a sleepy haze, not doing any "real" creating but some planning for new merchandise for my shop....

I am hesitant to say what is on the way, for fear of a little copy catting going on, but I am really excited...

Anyway so besides some planning of that, I just sort of lazed about the house, I even watched the Emmy's last night because I am a sucker for awards shows....and I am totally obsessed with Heroes and waited until the end to see them win, and they didn't...

wow, this was a whole lot of babble...yikes. Oh and if you are wondering about the picture....it's my latest altered book, it's called "A Sort Of Fairy Tale"

Thursday's Top Five

1- drinking fresh pineapple juice, with just a hint of sugar...I am seriously in love with this juice, last night I was holding onto the container and saying "I love this juice, I want it to be my maid of honor"...then my bubs gave me that look that says "are you out of your mind?"....

it was awesome.

2- getting a yorkie!!!! ok, I know we just moved into the house, and I can barely take care of myself at times, but I really want a yorkie, in fact I can hardly look at one, I almost start to weep...same thing happens when I see bunnies, though I am not allergic to the yorkies, so they win out.

I am applying to yorkie rescue to be put on the waiting list.

3- HEROES!!!!! Yup, I got season 1 on dvd yesterday and even better, my bubs watched the first episode with me...he never watched the show...but you know what, he liked it!!! I liked Mohinder, my Indian boyfriend, in the movie of my life he would play the man who runs the newsstand where I bought Zink magazine....though frankly he is too young, and too beautiful...

4- It's Fall Fashion magazine season, so frankly you should all be lucky I am even blogging, I finally made it to the post office to get my fall fashion Vogue out of my box...and you know how I feel about Vogue....it was only slightly dampened by Sienna Miller on the cover, look like yet another dead behind the eyes plastic doll....first Gwyendie and now this....why fall fashion mags, why have you forsaken me so????

speaking of fall fashion.....there is a quest going on, spanning from NYC to Columbus (ok really it's just in NYC and Columbus) this quest is to find the September issue of Vogue Nippon....yeah apparently it's "sold out" everywhere, but that is total BS, I need this, and my Buffy soulmate Jody needs it too...so please, I beg of all of you, keep your eyes peeled, go into every asian market you can find!!!!!

5- last but not least....look at this ridiculous web site!!!!!!!! It's my new favorite place to go, I have this wish that my bubs would let me tape pieces of fried chicken to his face in the shape of a beard so I could send it in.

yes, I am that sad.

wow...I just realized, no photos in this post...crap, well it feels really cheap to just post a random thing from my etsy shop, or even just a photo from a fashion mag.....or a pineapple...

what to do what to do??????

ok suck it up and just do some blatant self promoting...during a case of creative block the other day, I made a decorative (and wearable) mask, based on the IO myth...enjoy.

xoxo

Dear (Insert Name Here)

Dear Emma Roberts

You are adorable, I needed to just get that out in the open.

I will admit I was afraid when seeing the Nancy Drew movie that you would be horrible....and very Un "Nancy Drew"...but I was wrong, you were cute.

I have to commend you for overcoming a lot of adversity, being the niece of Julia Roberts...well yes, most people would not think of that as adversity....more a stepping stone, but you see....I am not really a fan of her...mainly I get fixated on her sometimes visible mustache....and cannot concentrate.

So, when hearing that you were her niece, well...I got sort of a pit in my stomach, and kept telling my bubs that it was "not right" that Nancy Drew just CAN'T have a mustache....but luckily you did not.

I was please though that your Dad is Eric Roberts, then I got the fool notion in my head that maybe he could pull some strings and you could be on Heroes for a few episodes next season, hell they could even do a Nancy Drew crossover, and you could be a teen detective investigating the Heroes....wait this sounds sort of pathetic, what I should really be asking is.....will you be doing a Nancy Drew II...or will they replace you with some generic horsey face girl for a direct to DVD sequel???

Now, this is where I give you a little advice, you are a young, pretty, wealthy teen star....please look to people like Claire Danes, Reece Witherspoon, and Jodi Foster for role models on how to survive through the years....I feel my heart would suffer greatly if you were to start having babies and going clubbing with Brit, and Paris....

Don't get all skanky and gutter trash, please...I beg of you!!!

in all seriousness, you are too charming for that, now....I am not going to say you are the next Meryl Streep....that might be saying too much, but you very well could be the next Julia Roberts...and well that is fine with me.

your fan
Jennifer Gordon

Please Humor Me

Morning

ok, please excuse me for a minute...I need to talk about Heroes (If you have not seen it please skip this first paragraph). UM...............what the hell? Did you all see my boyfriend (Mohinder) was he nailed to the ceiling? If he dies I am done with that show, do you hear me???? DONE! Ok, well, maybe not done, but I swear he better get some kind of power and fast so he can get out of that mess.

ok....that out of the way, I'm sorry I had to blab about TV for a minute, and really I am not quite sure if anyone besides Ben cares...but hell, it's my blog and I am the president of this little country.

Ok wait, I lied one more pop culture thing....did anyone else see the new Trailer for Spiderman 3 last night????????

OMG, so very cool, I am so excited as the Spidey films (yes...I used the word "films") are the best Superhero movies ever made...yes, even better than Superman!

(my bubs and I greatly disagree on this)

So have you all been thinking of who to write to tomorrow for Celebrity Day??? I am torn between two different people, I don't want to spoil the surprise...I know you are all foaming at the mouth over it.

So I did not get a chance to watch the Illusionist yesterday, I am going to do that today...yesterday I was busy, busy making a little group of new art cards with vintage ladies on them, and then all of a sudden the day got away from me, but I am showing you the ladies now, some have already been listed but some of the others haven't, but I have a feeling that there will be more to come, I warned you that I was becoming obsessed with living in the past....

Things have been on the slow side for me the past few days, and today I have a bunch of stuff I have to do that's not artsy...

Oh, I am sending off a submission for my bubs and clemencia to a new magazine, they have an "in" there, so I am really hoping that this will lead to a regular comic strip for them...I am so geeked up about that.

Oh, and my bubs is playing an open mic tomorrow night at Andyman's Treehouse which I am ridiculously excited for even though he says "it's no big deal"...well, it is to me.

For those interested I have marked down a bunch of stuff in my shop, there are new items in the sale section.

ok, off to do some work, enjoy the art cards I have posted and I will see you all tomorrow...get your celebrities ready!!!



xoxo

Where did all the models go?

morning love bugs!

I want to say a huge thank you to all of you who humored me and wrote letters to your celebrities...it was awesome! The strange thing is, that you ALL picked someone I almost wrote to as well, oh and if you all get the chance you have to read Aaron's letter, he posted in on my myspace blog.

it almost made me pee my pants, it was that funny!!!

Stay tuned next week, as this is going to be my little ritual, seeing as I am totally obsessed with most celebs it was really only a matter of time.

Yesterday as you know I had to go to the shop, it made for a very hectic day but It was good because I totally got to geek out and go on and on about Heroes and whats been going on in my comics ( I know I am a lame-o...but you have to understand...THE MULTIVERSE STILL EXISTS IN THE DC UNIVERSE!!!!!!!!!!!)

yes, totally shouting, and I am pretty sure only 1 or maybe two people reading this will get that, but it's ok.

I went to the post office yesterday, and I had such a good mail day!!! First I got this totally cute t-shirt in the mail that I ordered from Etsy Heart Throb Matt, then I got the 2 amazing slumber party illustrations from miss Fanciful Twist, Vanessa...I am in love with them, what a fun world she created for us. I also got not one, but two new magazines....

though this is where it gets a little melancholy....on the covers of these magazines was Kaite Holmes, and Jennifer Hudson.

not that I have anything against either of them (well, I hate Katie) but really, I don;t want to see them on the covers of fashion magazines, where the hell are the models? I can't remember the last time a model was on the cover of Vogue, I really can't.

Say what you want about fashion models, trust me I love and hate them, but I really think they are important to the very art of fashion (and yes, I do think it's an art) as having an almost anonymous looking model really allows the viewer to really see the clothes, and not the personality in the clothes, like for example, on Vogue, Jennifer Hudson is wearing a beautiful dress, but I barely took notice of it until just right now, I was too busy being dissatisfied with the cover choice.

oh well, who am I to say right? I mean I have only been obsessed with Vogue since I was 6...

Oh, I am so excited, I finally have gotten more of my acrylic cases for my art cards, I have been without them for almost 2 full weeks, so that means later on today I will be updating my little shop with a ton of new art cards, with many more on the way!!!!!

The piece I am showing today is this beautiful little 6x8 collage and I could not be more thrilled with how it turned out, I have to say I think it might be one of my most favorite things I have even done.

It is called "She Stopped For a Moment And Then..."

ok, enough rambling for now, I will chat with you all later.

xoxoxoxoxo

And So It Is

morning.

I am feeling a bit "off" today, not really sure what exactly it is, just one of those days that I feel so very unlike me.

I think Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's called them the "mean reds", though as I just typed those words it seems like the phrase "mean reds" could also be 1980's cold war lingo for those naughty communists.

Do you ever have those days when you feel all jittery inside? Like your heart is all a flutter, and not in a first love kind of way, but in a about to go to the doctors kind of way.

well that is how I am feeling, just anxious I guess, but anxious for what I have no idea.

I am feeling like I have too much to do....or not enough to do, it's hard to tell, anyway...I feel like I am floundering a bit.

Yesterday I worked for the majority of the day finishing the two pieces for the commission project for Tanekeya, I am really proud of them, I have enough materials to do a couple more as well, maybe to list for public sale in my shop, for some reason I was feeling very drawn to these pieces...

ok, now I am going to do something I hate doing but I just have to....I have to blog about TV for a minute....

Heroes was so good last night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can;t stress that enough, I actually found myself clapping at one point and getting all teared up at the end. For those of you who don;t watch the show, you really need to, though it will be impossible to catch up now...so wait for DVD.

It really is like watching a wonderful comic book come to life on the screen each week, just fantastic, plus check out the picture of my new boyfriend....um, is it me or is he just the most perfectly crafted person you have ever seen?

I mean seriously he looks like a piece of art.

There is one giant draw back to watching Heroes, is that before it is on...you have to suffer though Deal or No Deal (or as my bubs calls that show "Fat People Getting All Jazzed Up), now I am sure you are thinking, why do I have it on, why not keep the tv off until 9:00...

well you see, I tried that, but I am very anti clock, we have one in the bedroom but that is it, and without a clock I always was missing the first 10 minutes at least, so I always end up watching abit of the Deal show (which I loathe).

A way to get through that show though is every time they pan over to one of the "models" I make up what their career was before they hit it big on "Deal"...

like, Oh she was a hostess at TGI Fridays or she did nails at a Korean run salon in a strip mall next to a Fashion Bug...

I think my Bubs thinks I have some sort of Turrets Syndrome, but usually he just smiles and nods.

well I will leave you with that, I must get some work done...(by work I mean read a whole bunch of blogs), I am not feeling very inspired today, last week everything was inspiring me...and now I feel like I have nothing left to give.

It will change, it always does.

thanks for reading this, I will try my hardest to be a little less whiny tomorrow...

oh, and I am still on the Etsy Showcase today, so I am running a little surprise sale in my shop because of that...

15% off your entire purchase today, you just need to write "Showcase" in the message to seller section and I will send you a new invoice.