Rounding Up and Rounding Down

The theme of this blog is directly stolen from my dear friend Aaron's Blog...so sue me, I have nothing.

As the year is coming to a close I have been left thinking and reevaluating my life and my place in this great big f-ed up world...yeah, it sounds pretty deep huh? Not really.

I am going to list a bunch of horrible stuff from this past year, but don't worry...this is no pity party, I will follow it with a bunch of stuff that was more than wonderful.

I am also including a couple photos from my latest pendant, which is by far one of the coolest things about this year, at least to me. The name of the pendant is "The Seduction Question" and it is available for sale in my Etsy Shop.

Bunch of Bad stuff of the year 2006 (in no particular order

Thousands and thousands of dollars in debt, far from home, miss my mom, Aaron is far away, Ohio, stress, lonely, depression, body image issues, not feeling loved, being way too hard on myself, Keith's Ex-Wife, hillbillies vs Gang Members (the war in my neighborhood), people who grill meat outside my door at 10:00am, people who talk and talk and talk about gaming, not having many female friends in this state, not being able to keep a steady comic artist, Nightwing and Oracle Breaking Up, no health insurance, medicine that costs over $300 a month, turning 31

Bunch of Good Stuff about 2006

Keith (i wish I could write a bunch of hearts around his name), Etsy, selling my artwork, Aimee, Aaron, Tara, Lula, Dani and a ton of other Etsy people who I adore more than they could realize, the comic book peeps in Ohio, Nightwing proposing to Oracle, everything Brad and Angelina, Fall Fashion Vogue, my Prada purse (cough...black market...cough), Diana, the ballet, the rodeo, Cirque Du Soleil, Keith bringing home white chocolate cheesecake, being healthy again after being sick for ALL of 2005, doing art again, writing my comic, guest blogging on the Funky Carter Site, drinking whiskey and playing the Lord of the Rings sword fighting game in just my bra and undies (like Red Sonja), clemencia, our wonderful Kiss-Miss at McCormick's

ok, that's enough for now, I will probably keep going with this another time...

until next time secret and not so secret stalkers. I love you all.

xoxoxoxo

As the year comes to an end...

Taking note of the past year...wow, so much has happened and not happened this year.

In so many ways things are really starting to happen for me artistically, Etsy has been a wonder for me, as well as doing things outside of Etsy. In many ways it's a dream come true for me....could it really all be part of my life.

On another hand things here at the shop are still so tough and no matter how hard we try we never seem to get ahead, just stay in the same spot.

Keith is doing great at work and I am doing well with art...how can everything still be a struggle???

I just don't know where to go from here, I know I need to make more time for art, and I need to make more time to explore this city for what it has...yet at the same time it is so hard to figure out where to fit it in, I need to be here at the shop for 9 hours a day as it is, and that leaves little time to actually make things, up too late at night and up to early in the morning.

I need to figure out a way to be able to add more hours in the day, or need to sleep less...

hell that might help with me gaining weight, all the wasted time I spend dreaming...

oh speaking of dreams last night I had a horrible nightmare that Keith was out and when he came home he told me that he had kissed someone else...he told me in the dream that it happened because I spent too much time working.

I don't know why I had that dream, but it was such an awful way to wake up...but when I did wake up he was holding onto me so tight it was just beautiful, it turns out he was having a nightmare too, but his was about the "Hell- Well" that was in Amittyville Horror...lol.

The piece I am featuring today is another art card titled "I Could Not Be This Person Anymore" and it is available for sale in my Etsy Shop, and it is really indicative of how I was feeling a few years ago when I was moving here.

A Mystery abounds in the land of Stiletto-ville

so this morning started off with a sleepy morning with Keith, he had today off and we were going to spend some time together, but then he had to go and do a bunch of stuff....

so, needless to say I am here at the shop, though we have someone here to watch the place...I am here anyway. I shouldn't complain I did have many days off in a row because of the holiday, but it would have been nice to spend some down time together.

wait...I am getting off track. The morning was nice as we eased into the day, I got to the shop and was pleasantly surprised to find that I had sold a few things last night on my etsy shop, Yay!!!

We also received in the mail a gift certificate to a restaurant called Dragonfly, it's downtown and seems so totally cool. They mystery is that the card is made out to both of us, but it says it is from "Santa"...that's it....

I am mystified by it all...I have no idea who would do this, I have a few suspicions but overall, I don't know.

The place seems very cool, very artsy. They even have a "chocolate bar" on Saturday nights, now keep in mind I don't know what that is, but it can't be bad.

Hopefully we can do that sometime soon, it might end up being a wonderful night of escape, from the stress of the mountain of money problems that continue to plague us.

I hope whenever it is we get the chance to go, that the mysterious chocolate bar...brings a smile to Keith's face.

so...whoever it is that gave us this wonderful treat...THANK YOU, whoever you are, from the bottom of my dead heart. It really means more than you could possibly know.

I hope you are reading this.

I have been continuing to take it easy as far as creating things, I have some ideas in my head of projects that I want to do, so perhaps I will work on them tonight.

Keith's parents are coming into town this weekend, so I will be unable to work, as we will ahve the little monster as well. I think this visit will be a nice reminder of home. I only wish I had the money to fly my mom out for a few days, though I know we would drive each other crazy and I would probably be cursing the visit...I do miss having a sense of family.

I listed this card in my shop yesterday, it is called "Nothing Could Be More Perfect" and it is available for sale in my etsy shop.

All Things Christmas Come To An End

merry merry christmas...one day late.

I was going to walk over to teh shop yesterday to kill some time, as my bubs (keith) was at work, but it was way too rainy...I decided instead to stay home and listen to Justin Timberlake really loudly and dance, dance dance.

please forgive...i am using no capital letters today, feeling lazy and weighed down after the holiday cakes.

so much to report...

the ballet was amazing, and a wonderful night that made me feel top full of not only holiday cheer, but has refreshed me artistically for a bit.

it did me real good to be there, and the lovely restaurant in german village was amazing. I now want to move there and have wonderful gas lanterns outside my house, with bright red walls and walking distance to not only the ghetto, but to wonderful shops and galleries.

i think if i was down there i would feel less glum about ohio.

spent saturday painting and finishing the great commission i was doing about african american musicians, i am so proud.

sunday was more of the same, but when bubs came home from work we decided to go and walk around easton and stop at mccormicks (where keith works) for a christmas eve drink, we were treated so wonderfully by some of the people that worked there, the maitre d decided to pay for everything for us, including our meal and drinks, then the head chef offered the same thing.

it was magic, the place is so great, food is wonderful and we even got to sit in one of the nice tables that has the curtain we can close for privacy...which we did so we could kiss a little.

also so i would not have to see the little toddler two tables away who kept making faces at me.

here's a little tip for everyone out there...don't bring your child to a restaurant where the meatloaf is $17 and the cheapest thing on the menu.

I drank many glasses of pinot grigio and felt awful sleepy and groggy on christmas morning.

we did presents that night when we got home, so we were able to have a nice kiss-miss celebration.

I got up early yesterday morning so we could do our christmas socks, but then stumbled back to bed when keith left for work.

so it was at times a beautiful holiday and other times it was lonely as hell.

things on my etsy store have been slow due to the holiday, but i am not too afraid. i am more trusting in what i am doing than i used to be, that is what is important.

i am going to be spending more time working on art and my plan to take over the world, once the new year starts.

i need to contact galleries and keep doing my thing.

the photo featured today is a new art card, lately i have been very obsessed with the androgyny fashion thing, i think it is because i am reading the gia book.

the card is called "the androgynous kiss" and it is available for sale in my etsy shop.

going to the ballet!!

I am so excited my friend Diana just called and she got us tickets to the ballet tomorrow night.

Yay!!

I have not been to the ballet in years, not since way before I moved here. So excited. I am going to have to find a way to close the shop early so I can go home and pretty myself up.

I so wish I was a little thinner so I could fit into some of my cute clothes from years ago...I don't have anything good to wear, I feel like I am going to stick out like a sore thumb.

Oh well.

Today has been boring, the pre-Christmas lull...I am wondering if Keith is going to be working on Christmas or not, I hope he's not...it would be great to get to have a day with him.

Oh, also I got my really cool mini fashion book in the mail today. woo hoo!!!!!

this is boring and rambling today, things are distracting at the shop, ugh...so tired of it.

I got up early today and did some stuff, this piece is called "Dream of Cirque" and it is quite a different feel from my other work, the colors are a little different too.

It is available in my Etsy Shop.

Is it too early to think of New Year's Resolutions?

With the New Year looming on the horizon, it is only natural that people start to wonder about resolutions, and figure out what they need to work on in the upcoming year.

The natural resolutions are always the same...lose weight, eat better, exercise more, don't be so hard on myself.

Lats year I was pretty good about most of them, eating better, the exercise and all of it. I know I can do those, that's not really a challenge anymore, I know I can stick to that nonsense until at least April...

I was talking about this with Keith, and he was saying that he was considering his resolution to be that he was going to be less judgmental about people....

trust me when I say that this is a shock, as Keith and I are notoriously snotty and crabby about most people.

How could he do this to me???? What will we have left to talk about if we are not being judgmental about other people...the nerve of him to do this....

I was left with no other choice but to have my resolution be, that I am going to be judgmental enough for both of us.

I am sure that I could maintain this resolution throughout the year if need be.

I am still taking my little break from constant work on my art, I did list a few new things yesterday, just some small art cards.

This is one of them, it is called "A Degas Afternoon" and it is available in my Etsy Shop.

I am going to pretend I have a life

ok, this is a day for the record books ... mark it on your calenders loyal blog reader(s).
Tonight when the shop closes, Keith and I are going out with our friend Clemencia.

Yes, you heard it, I am not going home to work and stress...we are going out.

I in in firm belief that most people believe that I am in fact a strange hologram that only appears in the shop in front of the computer, well I am going to prove them all wrong...lol.

I used to be so social, and go out a lot when I was still in NH, but here in Hell-Hio (Ohio) I am mainly just a little shut in.

It was very hard to adjust to that, but with having no money it makes it hard, also having no friends to go have adventures with...well it makes it that much harder.

I think this is what I need to help my spirits a bit, even if we are just going to Starbucks to overdose of caffeine...

I got up early again today to get some work done, I am trying to keep making new pendants for my jewelry line and eventual plan of world domination that I am planning with my friend Aimee.

It is really hard to get good images of the pieces, but I do my best.

The pendant I finished this morning is called "Living in Film Noir" and it is double sided and one of a kind. It is available in my Etsy Shop.

Sorry if this post is all over the place today...I thought I had some food here at the shop, but apparently I brought that bag home last night by accident, so all day I have been raiding the brand new Charity Candy Machine....for just a quarter I get to help kids with cancer and get 5 peanut M & M's...I don't even want to tell you how much $$ I have taken out of the register just to pump in that damn machine....

I am a sucker for the sweets.

One Week

Happy Monday

officially it is one week until Christmas, so things online have slowed (stopped) and I am partially enjoying the slight respite. It would be easier to enjoy if things on a personal and financial level were better...but I am trying not to dwell on all the things I did not do and do not feel.

I have been very down lately, probably because I am so far from "home" and more than anything I am feeling guilty and sad that my mom is all alone, and I can't even visit her, and I'm all she has...I feel like a bad daughter and a bad person, I can barely talk to her on the phone, so then I put off calling her and then I feel worse.

There is a ton of other stuff going on right now too that has me stressed and anxious about everything, Keith and I are still great together, so at least I have that....I just don;t know how everything else can cause so much grief.

K's parents will be coming for a visit in a couple weeks, I am afraid that when they see me they will think I have gotten fat, I know I shouldn't think that but I do...

I keep trying to watch what I eat but it doesn't help, and I KNOW I have a ton of body and food issues and I should not get obsessive about it. I should just try and focus on feeling good and looking good will come later.

I can;t be teeny tiny and that's fine, it's ok to be a size 8...I'll just focus on that and I'll focus on feeling good because it helps my lungs when I exercise.

I was better about riding the bike, last week I did it 4 times, and this week I am off to a good start too, so I will not be hard on myself about that.

Now that things have slowed down on Etsy I have been taking a little break from the crazy amount of work I was doing, I worked on some cards last night and this morning and I was having fun with them.

This is a card I did the other day, color-wise it is a departure for me, it is called Titania in The Trees and it is available in my etsy shop.

Boring Day

Today is strange and slow after it being hectic and crazy, sales are slow online even though there is still time to ship via priority before the holiday.

I think people are a little unsure about shipping deadlines.

The woman who I did the dancing painting came to get it today so it seems that all major holiday things have been finished. YAY!

breath a sigh of relief, In was stressed about getting everything done before the weekend because we will have the peanut and I won't get to do any work until Sunday at the earliest. I didn't want to disappoint anyone with being late.

I am always worried about disappointing everyone, I need to learn to be less hard on myself, sometimes I don't need to be perfect. In fact I never have to be perfect, as that is impossible.

This weekend will be crazy because Keith will be working crazy being the big fancy chef he is...oh, speaking of K, he is totally bald now, he shaved his head down to the skin. His Elvis hair is gone. I think he fancies himself like Billy Zane now....what he doesn't know is that he is better that Billy Zane any day.

But I do miss him having some hair, but he is crazy sexy no matter what.

I was brainstorming via etsy convo with Aimee today about which me are the sexiest baldies...

I came up with, now these are in no particular order

Billy Zane
Ed Harris
Patrick Stewart
John Malkovich


she liked Vin Diesel and someone from the Mummy I had never heard of...

I know that there must be more of them but I can't think of any right now...anyone...anyone.

Leave any suggestions you may have in the comment section.

I woke up early this morning so I could do some work on a few cards and finish up an ornament order I had, I am convinced that 6:30am is WAY TOO EARLY to be up and already being creative.

6:30 is still night, I don't care what anyone says.

No matter, I got a couple cards done this morning too, and I still had enough time to ride the bike for 15 minutes.

This is one of the cards I did, it is called "The Dancer" and it has an image taken out of a WWII issue of Life Magazine, which was part of a giant lot that K got me at an auction back in September.

I really like how nostalgic and dreamy the card came out. Like looking into a sunset and seeing the past.

It is available in my etsy shop, and remember, blog readers...you will get 20% off December 20th.

9:30 am Must be time for a barbeque

up late last night trying my hardest to finish my entry for the Etsy Creative Challenge that Aimee runs every week.

Sad to say I was still not done, so had to work on it this morning, making my lazy mocha drinking morning while watching the Today Show (sigh...I know, don't judge me...Aaron) not really happen.

I chugged the mocha and even made a second one, while finishing up the piece, the theme was to do something based on our favorite holiday song, I chose the song 2000 Miles by The Pretenders, which I think is just so beautiful.

It reminds me of the broken holiday heart ache, that happened to me, oh so many times, before Keith and I were together, knowing that was the one time of year he would be back in NH, and I would want and not want to see him so much...

The title of the piece is 2000 Miles and it is available for sale in my Etsy Shop

but that is a post for another time...

So, I was painting away and still had time to exercise, albeit briefly, for 20 minutes before I had to hop in the shower and get ready to come to the shop for another long day.

I was out of the shower waiting for my hair to dry while eating peanut butter toast when all I could smell was gas, now...we don't have gas anything at our apartment, so I shouldn't worry...but I do worry after the time over the summer that the gang kids tried to light a gas main on fire at the park next door.

I hear doors opening and closing in the apartment next door...and I hear voices, maybe they are going outside to check it out...but low and behold, the gas smell was actually because my neighbors (cough...hillbillies...cough) were firing up their grill, at 9:30am on this, the 14th day of December.

Now I know that because of the Global Warming that it was in the 50's this morning, but really...do people need to be grilling this early in the morning, in DECEMBER??????????

Personally I think there should be some sort of rule that you can't fire up the grill past the end of October, and you certainly cannot use it before 11:00am

Is that too much to ask?

Cure for artistic block

I have been really bogged down and blocked artistically off and on this holiday season, I have not been able to figure out exactly why, I am assuming it has something to do with having no time and no money...but that is just a guess.

For weeks I have wanted to take a little break but I really can't, not at this time of year, it is really hard to stay visible on Etsy so I need to list several times a day at least, so I have just kept trucking along and doing my thing.

Sometimes with great success and other times I feel like I am just going through the motions, there have been things that I made that were just so bad (to me) that I just could not let anyone see them, I would never list them on Etsy.

I know part of it is also that with money being tight I have not been able to splurge on cool books and magazines to cut up for new photos, I feel like I have looked through everything I have time and time again.

I have been pleasantly surprised sometimes though, images that I have had for years that I never used are starting to jump out at me, things are starting to tell me a new story.

Last night I was working on things and I had one of those moments, I used an image that I actually brought with me from New Hampshire years ago, I also tried really hard to branch out and use colors that I don't normally use.

Deep Greens and a creamy blue, I don't know...normally I am not drawn to those colors, even though I love them, they just don't seem me...that being the case I feel very boxed in with the colors I use...

I am really please with how this piece turned out, in every way it really makes me feel like there is a light at the end of the artistic block, because after I completed this, I stayed up way way late and made another collage that is so hot, I love it, and I did a new pendant.

I am so hoping I get another copy of The Fashion Book for Christmas, I love it so much I could get 10 of them and just be so happy.

The piece that I have listed is called "Ache For You" and it is available for sale in my Etsy Shop, there is still plenty of time to get some shopping done before the holidays and even more time to get a little present for yourself.

Where do these arctic creatures get their scarves?

I think I have officially overdosed on Muppet and Stop Motion Christmas Specials, I never knew it was possible, not did I ever think that I would be the type of person to do it.

Then again, I thought those things in life before Keith, or as he should be called Keith "I love Everything Christmas" Cousineau...I mean really, he is like damn Santa himself.

He loves Christmas so much that he won't even watch the movie Bad Santa...

odd.

so anyway, back to my point. Last night he put in one of his Christmas specials that I had never seen, it was one of the ones with the puppets, like Rudolph but not Rudolph...the one we watched had Fred Astaire and it told the the origin of Santa, complete with Santa battling the Nazi's and a strange song that made Santa seem like a pedophile.

It was while watching this that I realized all the damn penguins and seals and snow beasts in these specials all wear scarves and other winter accessories.

What's up with that? Where do they get these, so they really need them or are they just trying to be showy...no one likes A show off.

I just don't get it.

I tried to talk to Keith about it and he just sort of shook his head with a look on his face that said "what is wrong with you", and all I could think was ME...what's wrong with those penguins who need a jacket...

I wonder if there is someone on Etsy that is making all of these accessories for Santa's friends, it has to be the only answer, winter birds must be shopping on the internet.

Now that I have convinced all of you that I am crazy...I will leave you with these thoughts to ponder.

Today I got a wonderful commission project from someone who wants 6 art cards all done with vintage African American singers and Musicians...it is going to be beautiful, just so beautiful...I can't wait.

in honor of this cool project I will be doing, I am listing an item in my shop that that particular person really likes as well.

It is a card and it is called A Woman of Earth and Sky

How I spent my weekend

Saturday I tried really hard to get a bunch of stuff done, but no matter how hard I tried everything seemed really empty to me.

I was trying to finish up a commission piece, and I just kept getting all scared and doubting myself, I just kept remembering a commission I did that someone hated, and I just lost all confidence in myself.

Usually I get all the stuff together to work and I just look at all the pieces and I see it starting to come together in my head, I see the shapes and the colors, but Saturday I just had nothing, I was totally spent.

Rather than force it I just put everything aside.

Sunday morning K and I actually slept in until about 8:00 and then got up and did the X-Mas tree thing and he made breakfast we did errands and had a nice day, I painted in the afternoon and it really felt "right" again, I was able to finish the commission which is the photo shown here, and I really enjoyed doing it.

The photo does not do it justice, it really is so cool in person and in the light.

I love dance and that was the inspiration for the piece, I hope she likes it a lot, I am still scared about that, but hopefully things will go well.

If anyone is interested in getting a commission done just contact me though My Etsy Store and we can set something up.

At this point it would probably be too late for Christmas, but why do you "need" a reason for art.

Sorry about the excessive use of "quotation marks" in this post, I don't know what's gotten into me

xoxoxo

WHat an incredible fan letter

Today when I got to the shop and checked the e mail, I had a wonderful e mail from a reader of my comics, and it just blew me away. I really felt like I had tapped into something with my book, sometimes it goes unappreciated, and other times I feel like I have connected with a reader, and it makes it so fulfilling.

This is what he wrote, I am leaving out his name. After reading this, if you are interested in buying my comics, they are available for sale in My Etsy Shop

I sell them in a set of #1-3

Hi Jenn,

I read your comics...1-3...you rock! I love it that they can make me laugh and feel pain in the same issue. You are a very talented writer and the honesty and compassion for the charecters is so refreshing. If only more comics were like this...but to leave at this would sell it short. There is a romanticism there that appeals and tries to breach the harsh reality of modern day life...for that I salute you. Part cynical, part hopeful dreamer, part go getting partier, part insecure...all person...it's these contradictions that make for good reading because people really experience them in their lives....no spandex required....LOL.

A couple of times when I was reading I thought that this would make a really good movie or a stage play as there is a lot of dialogue that flows nicely and the layouts in 2 and 3 really made me think of movie close ups. I like the art in issue 1 the best though....can't quite put my finger on why though but I like the way Ian draws it.

Anyway, enough gushing from me...it's fantastic.

I figured out what I want to do with my life

ok, so I was thinking, as a person I am completely lazy...I don't want to do anything.

I want to just be able to strut around and make money, I was discussing this with the bf and he said that it sounded like fergie ferg of the Black Eyed Peas...

well, there you go, I can do that, I saw her on the tv and she just stands around and raps (badly) she's not even that hot...she'd doesn't dance...just stands around like a robot woman.

So that is my new goal, being an artist or a writer is hard...I am going to be jenny-jenn curvalicious...whic I know is not a word, but hell, standing around wearing a slutty outfit should not be a job unless you're a hooker...right?

So from now on I will be busy coming up with bad rhymes and practicing the blank look on my face.

ok, in all seriousness...

Today is the second day of my stint on the Etsy Showcase, and it is going ok, not great but pretty good. I have been managing to sell a couple things a day which is wonderful and so helpful right now because we are so so broke, until my master plan of being the next hot white female rap star.

This is my latest piece, it is called Marilyn Monroe Dreamscape and it is available in my etsy store, remember if you are a loyal blog reader or a repeat buyer you will get 20% off, just write it in the message to buyer and wait for an invoice.

ciao darlings

Bringing Sexy Back...again

Oh my god, the Victoria's Secret Fashion show was the coolest thing EVER!!!!

Seriously the wings were so theatrical and wonderful, and really everyone knows I am not a huge fan of winged creatures...except butterflies, which I like.

so anyway...I am getting off track.

Back to the wings...there were points that just gave me the chills, there was one model who had on the crazy wings that looked like tree branches, that were coated in ice...so incredibly. It reminded me of a character from the Shakespeare play Titus Andronicus (I think that is how it is spelled), I can hardly remember, I have not had my complete works of Shakespeare since I moved here, I refuse to buy one as I know my beloved and well read and well loved copy is hidden away in a box in NH....

anyway, Titus' daughter has her hands cut off, and tree branches inserted into her arms...and though that is the most disgusting thing...I thought of that when I saw the fashion show.

I got the chills and cried, all at once I missed theater so much, I missed walking into the Palace when it was all quiet, and no one was there yet, I miss sitting in the dressing room and beginning a ritual, I miss taking classes so many years ago at the Institute.

When theater and acting were still so magical to me. Before life drama and countless heartaches made it all seem less than beautiful.

I miss my innocence in life and in art, I miss the joy I got when I would hear the curtain fall back onto the stage.

That beautiful aching silence.

The card I chose today is called Ophelia by the River, and it features a Waterhouse painting of one of my favorite characters. It is available for sale in my etsy shop.

Who Doesn't Love a Fashion Show

I am so excited, tonight is the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show!!!! I love seeing all the models with those huge wings walk the catwalk. It is like theatre to me.

I know as a "strong woman" I should be all offended by the models and hate that they make women feel bad about themselves, but I just can't hate them...sure I hate the eating disorders of the super-waifs...but I just can't hate the models, and the fashion.

When I was a little little girl my mom took me to a Barbie Fashion Show, it was at the Sears at the Mall of New Hampshire...it was the late 1970's and any trip to the "Big Mall" was like heaven to me...the mall had these indoor fountains where all the kids and disappointed moms would gather to smoke cigarettes, my mom an avid smoker would linger there for hours and people watch, I would beg for pennies to toss in the fountain.

It seemed so foreign and cosmopolitan...strange and sad.

The day of the Barbie Fashion show...I have to say, it was a day that in many ways changed my life. The women would strut down the catwalk wearing beautiful gowns, all crazy colors and puff sleeves, the models would be holding barbie dolls that were wearing the same dresses.

It was magic.

I wanted to be that so badly. I just wanted to be pretty, I wanted to wear those clothes and walk...and just be, untouchable.

How things change over time, I stopped growing at the height of 5'3"...so not a model height.

But that passionate love for fashion and fashion shows has never died, the excitement of the clothes, these beautiful living pieces of art...it almost makes me want to cry.

So as I type this...I feel like a kid at Christmas...

This is one of the many reasons I use so much fashion ephemera in my collage work.

Here is one of my pieces, it is available in my etsy shop and it is called "I Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You"

you just might get a special treat if you can tell me which model it is in the image.

This is the start I am off to

December was going to be my month, my month to get my crap together. I was going to start painting every night no matter how late I had to stay up, thus freeing up my mornings to work out again.
My goal is to get back into shape and to lose a little weight before Keith's parents get here at the end of the month with many boxes of cookies, which I will not be able to resist.

Well the month started and I did not work out on Friday, I can't remember why but I know it was a really good reason. I could not exercise all weekend as we had the peanut and there is no way to do that when she is around.

So today was my day, I worked last night so I would have no excuse not to get my butt on the exercise bike, so when Keith left in the morning I set the alarm for another hour of sleep, he leave at 6:30 and there is no way I am getting up at that time, for hell's sake...that's still night.

So I set the alarm...only to wake up at 9:00!!!!!!! I had mistakenly set it for pm and not am...it is like the fates are conspiring against me...is it my destiny to not loose weight??????

needless to say I did not get my act together and ended up having to rush to work....oh and the wind-chill today was 3...yes, 3 degrees.

a week ago it was 70, now it is 3.

Also I keep having these strange dreams that I am running, not like jogging, but running and hiding from something. Last night Keith and I were running together, through a swamp, through a carnival...I could psychoanalyze myself but I really am in no mood for that.

Needless to say all this running has started to play a part in my art, this is one of my latest pieces and it is available in my etsy shop.

it is titled "Would I Ever Be Able To Stop Running"

Don't forget loyal blog readers, mention my blog in the message to seller section and receive 20% off through December 20th!

Bad Mary POppins Flashback

it is windy as hell today, it has been 70 degrees for almost a week now, and even though I know that is abnormal and that there is a gaping hole in the environment I didn't care.

(please don't send me angry mail, you all know I care about the planet)

Yet today on December 1st the winds have changed, quite literally in fact, they are blowing at about 60 mph.

yikes

when walking to work I almost got blown away with my giant umbrella, and I swear if I owned a gun and believed in senseless violence I would have shot out the tires on every card that beeped at me as I was trekking down the damn street.

assholes.

sorry, do I sound angry about that???? I'm really not. In fact I'm really not a whole lot of anything right now. Things are slow today at the shop, which is understandable as the weather is hell.

But it just makes me feel all sorts of alone. It's odd though, in a few years if thngs go according to our "plans" I will be home all the time, working by myself, I can't wait...yet part of me is a little scared about it, wondering if eventually I will become a crazy shut in, I guess that wouldn't be so bad...as long as I am not expected to cook or clean.

This weekend is a peanut weekend, wish me luck, with the weather being bad we will be trapped in the house, I am hoping that by Sunday after she goes home I will have the need to work, I have been very unmotivated as of late. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I have been completely out of canvases for a week, and my options to make stuff has been limited to cards.

I really have been enjoying making slightly larger pieces lately...partly because I can see those better, my eyes have been hurting really badly.

I have 2 commission projects to work on as well, so that should keep me busy next week too.

I am a little afraid that I am sinking into a bit of a depression, I am fighting against it as much as I can, but it's hard, today I got up and was up for a little while, I was going to work or exercise a bit but I could barely bring myself to get up off the couch, so I went back to bed for a while.

NOT A GOOD SIGN.

oh, and I forgot to post this yesterday but...

I am offering a 20% off sale on everything in my Etsy Shop until December 20th. This sale is limited to my repeat customers as well as loyal blog readers. So if you decide to purchase anything and you are not a repeat customer, just write the words "Blog Sale" in the message to buyer section, and I will invoice you.

I figure it's only fair, if you care enough to stalk me at my blog, well then...you deserve a sale.

If you would like to be included on my e mail mailing list please contact me at stilettoheights@yahoo.com and I will add you.

The piece featured today is called "On This Night Of Dreams" and it is available at my Etsy Shop.