One Week

Happy Monday

officially it is one week until Christmas, so things online have slowed (stopped) and I am partially enjoying the slight respite. It would be easier to enjoy if things on a personal and financial level were better...but I am trying not to dwell on all the things I did not do and do not feel.

I have been very down lately, probably because I am so far from "home" and more than anything I am feeling guilty and sad that my mom is all alone, and I can't even visit her, and I'm all she has...I feel like a bad daughter and a bad person, I can barely talk to her on the phone, so then I put off calling her and then I feel worse.

There is a ton of other stuff going on right now too that has me stressed and anxious about everything, Keith and I are still great together, so at least I have that....I just don;t know how everything else can cause so much grief.

K's parents will be coming for a visit in a couple weeks, I am afraid that when they see me they will think I have gotten fat, I know I shouldn't think that but I do...

I keep trying to watch what I eat but it doesn't help, and I KNOW I have a ton of body and food issues and I should not get obsessive about it. I should just try and focus on feeling good and looking good will come later.

I can;t be teeny tiny and that's fine, it's ok to be a size 8...I'll just focus on that and I'll focus on feeling good because it helps my lungs when I exercise.

I was better about riding the bike, last week I did it 4 times, and this week I am off to a good start too, so I will not be hard on myself about that.

Now that things have slowed down on Etsy I have been taking a little break from the crazy amount of work I was doing, I worked on some cards last night and this morning and I was having fun with them.

This is a card I did the other day, color-wise it is a departure for me, it is called Titania in The Trees and it is available in my etsy shop.