Dear (Insert Name Here) Week III

**You all know what to do, time to write the letters to whoever you want.

xoxo

Dear Giselle

First my apologies if you do not read English very well, please have your assistant read this to you. I am assuming you do read English, as you must have been able to read and memorize your 2 lines in The Devil Wears Prada...

How are you? I just want to start out by telling you that you are by far my most favorite of the super models, not since Linda Evangelista reigned supreme have I loved a model as much as you. In fact if I had to guess I would say you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen...wait scratch that, my bubs is the most beautiful person I have ever seen, then Angelina Jolie, then Joaquin Phoenix, then you.

Wait...where am I going with this.

Oh, now I remember...way to go getting Tom Brady the Quarterback of the New England Patriots to knock you up, did you "forget" to take the pill that day?

I have to say that I was at first thrilled that you were dating him, as a born and raised New England girl, it really touched me that you were with one of the sports gods from my home, the only thing that would have been better was if you were dating any of the Red Sox, though they are are kind of fat and dumpy looking so I can see why that wouldn't happen.

So....though I was totally cool with you dating him, I have to say I am a bit mortified that you allowed him to get you pregnant, not only is this bad for your career, but the man also knocked up his ex-girlfriend too, just one month before you. I'm not huge on the whole "math" thing but I would be worried about the "overlap", but that's just me.

Now, forgive me if I am wrong but I really don't think he is the "marrying kind".

Now....I have this sinking feeling that things will go bad, that you will be left as a single mom, sure you will be incredibly rich and all, but single nonetheless.

Please don't go begging Leo to take you back, that will be humiliating, I suggest that you get in touch with the Jolie-Pitt's and see if they want to adopt/buy your baby, I'm sure they would. It would be ridiculously attractive plus it would be of international descent...which I think are their two main criteria for baby shopping.

Please consider this option, I only want what's best for you, and for the New England Patriots.

your ever faithful
Jennifer

ps- is there any truth to the rumor that you will be taking over Victoria's Secret?