from that to this

good morning loves


so yesterday was a rather blah day....I went from a near perfect Wednesday to a Thursday that left me feeling anxious and rather bad.

we all have those days those moments and hours plagued with self doubt and fear...those days when everything you touch turns out not quite "right".

I worked and worked and ended up getting more frustrated and angry than anything else....leading me down that road of obsession and turmoil.

yes, I am being melodramatic...and not being a very good blogger at that.

Sorry...I think I was riding high for so long with the move to the new house, a wonderful creative burst of energy, and all the wonderful things associated that now this is the inevitable crash, the low, it is unfortunate that it is coming at this time, this time when I need to be productive and make this "art thing" work for me as a job, at a time when I need to have things ready for Craftin Outlaws....OK I know I am ready physically for the show I know I am almost where I need to be but with doing a show (which I rarely do) comes all the questions that plague me...

what if I suck?
what if no one buys anything?
what if the tent collapses and water pours all over everything I have and ruins it?
what if my hair looks bad that day?
what if people think I'm ugly?
what if people think I'm a hack?

and so on, and so on.....

I am being silly, right? I know I am, logically I know I am being too sensitive, but the non logical part of me, the part that houses the creative side of me, the emotional side....is all a mess right now.

all raw and exposed, you see sometimes I am a smart, talented, confidant, artist who is more than comfortable in her own skin...and then sometimes I am that girl in 7th grade that everyone made fun of who would eat lunch with her teacher and get peanuts thrown at her on the bus.

you know....that's enough enough bad yucky self doubt for the morning....I am going to do a top 5 list and then be on my way...

ok top 5 things that are wonderful right now

1- root beer floats
2- my friend Steve came over yesterday with a dvd box set of the best of Shark Week....
3- The new issue of the Buffy comic is all about Faith and Giles....like it was written specifically for me to love
4- I know I have the fall fashion issue of Japanese Vogue in my PO Box...I just have to get there to check it.
5- Edith Wharton ghost stories....sigh, I think I'm in love....

Dear (Insert Name Here) Week 2

morning everyone, it's time for our letters, please leave your letter to a random celebrity in the comments section...


Dear Sarah Michelle Gellar

I am just going to be frank with you, you deserve that...I don't like you, and I can guarantee that is we met in real life, well you wouldn't like me either.

Now, you have to know I did watch Buffy, am I proud of that? No, not really, I liken it in many ways to marrying my ex husband, just another thing to add to the list of things I never should have done...

wait, I digress.

It's not really Buffy I have a problem with, it's you.

Though I hated myself for watching that damn show, I did...and for the record, it was not because of you that I watched it. I wanted your character to get killed, all the time, week after week.

Does that make me mean? No. that makes me truthful.

You see, you have a very snotty way about you, going on and on in interviews about your "career"...hello...you made the Scooby Doo movies, I seriously doubt that you are ever going to hear the words "and the Oscar Goes to".

All of that aside, what made me really hate you was when you stopped calling yourself Sarah Michelle Geller (rhyming with Helen Keller) and started calling your self Sarah Michelle GellAR (rhyming with hell car).

You are not Prince, you can't just change you name to sound all important!!!

This is why everyone you were on Buffy with hated you, this is why you were not invited to their weddings, this is why people cheered when you died in The Grudge 2.

You remind me of the pack of bitchy girls who wouldn't let me sit with them during lunch in 7th grade, who would throw things at me...in turn I ate lunch with my teacher.

So I will leave you with this...when Is Scooby Doo 3 coming out?

sincerely
Jennifer Gordon




(PS- here's a little shop info, I am running a 20% off sale for anything in the SALE section of my shop, I am adding new pieces daily, now that I am working at home I am running out of room for things....eek. I am afraid I will be buried under a pile of collages and empty cans of low carb Monster...)