When things don't turn out how you think

Well, it is the very end of November, the holiday season is here...and yet nothing seems to be going on.

Strange, I thought I would be totally swamped with holiday orders and relishing in the beautiful hue of being a non-starving artist...at least for a few weeks.

Things on Etsy have been really, really slow...I guess art might not be the greatest idea for a gift.

I think my real problem is the same as it always is I get a thought in my head of the way something is going to be...then of course, I am disappointed. It is almost impossible not to be.

Even in life, when I was a kid I would think about my life, and it surely was not this, don't get me wrong, I am more than happy and lucky that I get to spend my life with my soulmate, my very first love. But I really didn't think that I would be here, in Ohio...I always fancied myself in New York, or Boston.

I never thought I would be divorced before I was 30, then again, I could have solved that problem by not getting married at the age of 21 to someone that I knew was a mistake.

I don't know where I am going with this...I think I am getting the December blues, and it's not even the first yet. I am feeling anxious...I miss home, I miss being in A Christmas Carol at the Palace, I miss rows and rows of mill buildings and that cold bitter Atlantic Ocean air when I would go to the coast.

I miss the fantasy of me that never even got to exist.

I made this art card the other day and it is available in my etsy shop, there is something about it that reminds me of a dream I'll never have.

It is called "The Ballad Of Breakfast At Tiffanys"

Beautiful Rose

Still trying to recoup after the convention this weekend, I am still so tired. It has been hard to get a lot of work done, I am also working on my next script for Stiletto Heights. I will be giving it to a new artist in a few days. I am looking to get the next book out by April, in time for the Pittsburgh Comic Convention, as well as The Small Press and Alternative Comics Expo.

My most recent piece was a painting on canvas panel that I did for the Etsy Creative Challenge, it is called Belle Rose. The theme for this week was to create something that expressed the wonder of "handmade".

I talked about why I chose this piece on etsy, and I have to sum it up with something that Judy Garland actually said, she said that every time she sang a song, part of her died. That is how much she put into everything she sang.

That is how I feel when I am making things sometimes, I guess I should say that I am lucky when I feel like that!

Well, I felt like that when I made this piece, I hope you like it! It is available in my Etsy Shop

Belle Rose

An idea I have stolen from an Etsy post.

Here is a big list of nonsense you should know about me.

1 - I have seen every episode of Beverly Hills 90210 multiple times.

2 - I learned how to read when I was 2

3 - I got stabbed in the eye with a pencil as a child

4 - I have an eye phobia

5 - I LOVE shark movies

6 - my favorite color is red

7 - I am divorced

8 - I am scared of babies/having babies/holding babies

9 - I love comic books

10 - I am allergic to life and I don't eat meat

11 - I have known my bf since I was 16

12 - I have OCD when it comes to how I need my bed sheets to be

13 - I need to sleep with white noise

14 - I was almost a twin

15 - I love Anne Of Green Gables

16 - I am in debt

17 - I own a comic store

18 - I would rather be an artist

19 - I love to nap, but never get the chance

20 - I used to have an eating disorder

21 - I am obsessed with fashion magazines

22 - I almost backed out of my first wedding once the ceremony started

23 - I eat to make me feel better.

24 - I miss NH

25 - I want botox

ok, that's enough for now...thanks for reading the nonsense, and when your done, feel free to pop over to my etsy shop and poke around for one of a kind gifts!!

This is my latest art card, it is called "She Launched a Thousand Ships"

Who Can't Lose??????????

hi

I am going to be blogging again on a regular basis, fear not loyal readers. I have been swamped as of late, but I am really going to try to be better about this.

It is a warm and balmy post Thanksgiving Monday here in fat-hio (ohio). I am more than sleepy, this past weekend was thw Mid-Ohio Comic Convention so I am warn out from that, combined with the fact that I have had no energy drinks today...nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

that being the case, if I am not as sharp and wit-tastic as I usually am, please forgive, as it has been a trying couple of days.

The convention was very slow, but I still had a great time, lots of pimping my book, and selling my art. I was very happy because Stiletto Heights #3 finally came out!!!

There was a boatload of drama getting this book out, the artist I was working with had one personal calamity after another, but though all of that sucks, this book...is amazing.

I can't be happier than I am, it is flawless with the exception of the countless headaches I got while stressing about whether or not it would ever be finished.

I spoke on a panel this weekend about self-publishing, which ended up being fun, and really good to do, it brought a bunch of traffic to my table and I sold a bunch of full-sets of the book because of it.

I did chicken out of wearing the Batgirl costume though, if I had still been working out I would have done it, but too many sweet cakes made me feel bad about myself.

Thought I guess I should not feel bad, as late in the day yesterday I was approached by a certain ex-teen heartthrob who was also appearing at the con...I got the vague feeling that Corin Nemic, the former Parker Lewis Can't Lose star was flirting with me...which was so cool, albeit a bit embarrassing for me...Keith was right next to me too, and has been teasing me about it ever since.

The image featured today is the beautiful cover to StilettoHeights #3, which is available for sale in my Etsy Store, I also have the full set of issues #1-3 for sale too!!

If you buy the full set, I'll throw in a surprise!

till next time!

Things are a bit of a mess

Hello Loyal blog readers

sorry for the severe lack of updates, as many of you know Etsy has finally launched it's new version of the site. Like with any major overhaul...there are a ton of bugs and glitches, but those are temporary.

If you have not gotten the chance, please take a look at the "New Etsy", it is amazingly beautiful with much larger photos and cleaner design. Also when shopping, there is a cool shopping cart feature, to make it easier to buy a ton of stuff from me.

I am running the 20% sale still, as the site is sort of buggy it is my way of saying thanks for putting up with all the growing pains.

So check out my shop, I have started adding a new line of pendants, at the moment there are a couple issue's with listing, so I am featuring a photo of a pendant that has sold already, but it should give you a good idea of the overall feel of them.

They are all one of a kind, and check the low low shipping costs, you can't beat that. If you are interested in a pendant but there are none listed, send me a message through etsy and I will let you know when I list them.

check out my shop if you feel so kind.

until next time...

A living fairy tale...

This is a painting I did called "The Castle Maiden" it was originally being held for someone who fell in love with it the moment they saw it...but then after a month, they changed their mind.

So here it is, I really liked making this, the process felt like like dreaming. So surreal, it was like creating a poem.

So here it is, I hope you all like it. It's available for sale in my etsy shop.

Wish I had more delightful things to blog about today...but I've got nothing.

It's a blue, blue, world

I could go on and on about my political views, but it would would bore you silly.

I will leave you with the simple fact that I grew up in New England, in a house with a framed picture of JFK...I'm a Democrat girl, tried and true.

So you will also have to understand how trying and painful it was to be living smack dab in the middle of a "Red State"...after Ohio botched the last election, I felt that there was no hope.

Things have begun to change, the winds are blowing in that direction...hope came back. I went to sleep last night before all results were in for the state and country, it seemed that the Democrats were pulling ahead,, but the margin was slim.

I went to sleep last night and Ohio was red state...and when I woke in the morning, we were Blue.

Then today, Donald Rumsfeld resigned.

This is a happy moment. A hopeful moment. It is one of those rare times when I don't feel silly for loving and hating politics the way I do.

Now, to quote my friend Aaron's Blog...cross our fingers and hope Obama runs.

So, now that I have bored you to tears...I will bid you a fond farewell.

The piece featured today is the collage I did in conjunction with this weeks Creative Challenge, the theme was "Water". It was difficult for me, I had to branch out into a different color range, I used blue.

Now I am glad I did.

The painting is called "Dance of the Dying Swan" and it is available in my Etsy Shop.

The Cult Down The Street

I just need to say that I am going to be so excited when election season is over and done with...for so many reasons, one being that I am so sick of attack ads. But most importantly for me, is that perhaps my neighborhood will go back to normal.

Many people know that I live right next door to a large park, I walk by it everyday on my walk to work, but what most people don't know is that I live right down the street from a giant religious cult...I refer to it as "Helm's Deep" as it looks like the giant stone fortress from Lord of the Rings.

This being the case, the crazies from the cult have to drive by the park to get anywhere, so in my beautiful park there has been these giant buses with bill-boards on the sides, with messages that basically say things like. "So and So politician loves Gay Marriage but Jesus hates Gay people" and then there is another one that has really graphic photos that says something to the point of "Jesus crys when women murder their babies, Say no to abortion and Jesus will give you a treat" or some such nonsense like that.

Sorry, I needed to vent, I have nothing against religion, don't get me wrong, but He;m's Deep is going to go Waco on Columbus, seriously....this is a place that even really religious people are scared of.

ok, enough of that babble.

Today is cold and rainy and I am feeling lonely for something I can't quite put my finger on...I don't really feel like talking to anyone or really doing anything, perhaps I am feeling lonely for a feeling, that feeling of being connected without talking or anything.

I guess I miss Keith, he has been working so much lately and when we are home at night he is so tired...he works really hard. Yesterday as a surprise he brought me an eggnog shake, and when he gave it to me he said that ice cream was his version of flowers. I almost cried, then I drank the whole shake in less than 5 minutes and felt sick. It was worth it though.

Oh, I forgot to say, Keith is the president of the "I Love Everything Christmas" club...he actually pulled out all the x-mas DVD's over the weekend, and we actually started watching them.

it is going to be a very long Christmas season.

So, with that in mind, this is an ornament that I made, it is a year round ornament, for people who are cooler than the rest. It is available for sale in my etsy store.

it is titled "Travel in Venice"

I can't think of a cool title...

On my walk to work today I was thinking...I was thinking about how when I was a kid, all the little girls my mom babysat would all want to play house, all the time. They woudl fight over who got to be the mom, who wanted to be the baby...etc.

Of course there was the strange little girl who always wanted to play the dad...but that is a completely different story.

It was odd even when I was little I never wanted to play house, I most certainly NEVER wanted to play the Mom, I always demanded to play the role of "The neighbor" I would keep to myself, play on the outskirts of their little house drama, the baby, the cleaning and cooking...even at age 5, I knew I wanted no part of that.

I have struggled with this dilemma, especially out here in the Mid-West, if you are not having babied by age 25 you are considered odd, if you are not married your are an old maid.

I am a freak because I have no maternal instincts, I am a freak because I never want to have children. NEVER.

I saw all of this on the day after having the peanut this weekend. Please don't get me wrong, I love the little monster because she is part of Keith, but had anyone asked me several years ago if I would be giving medicine to a little girl and taking care of her when she was sick, I woudl have told them that they were out of their minds.

It is not just the children thing though, I have always kept everyone at a distance. When I was married before, I never even let my husband cuddle with me, or hold my hand, he would try to lay on me and it disgusted me...like he was a child, and I the mom. I hated his neediness.

I really don't know why I am thinking of all of this today, I really don't know why. All I do know is that with Keith, I am different. I know what it means to love someone now. I love when we hold each other, and I never see his need to touch me as weakness, not even in the slightest.

I guess that is because I should have been with him the whole time.

I guess the real reason I was thinking all this, is because of my solitary life out here. I have Keith which is wonderful beyond measure, but that is really it, I don't have anyone else. I devote myself to art and Keith, and it's fine like that.

Yes, I am lonely sometimes, dreadfully lonely...but most of the time, I am fine. I am fine keeping people far away from me.

This is what I was thinking about, if that is really normal. Should I reach out more, should I connect with people?

This art card I did is about the love connection...no, not the bad game show, but the actual connection I feel for Keith. It is called "At This Moment I Knew I Loved You" and it is available in my Etsy Store.

sorry this was so long winded and crazy, tomorrow I will try and lighten up a bit.

Could I Have Mono...or am I just Lazy?

First... I need to give a big shout out to some truly cool people, who for one reason or another have totally rocked my world today...

Gillian from Gilfling's Designs. She is not only amazingly talented but a wonderful person, and if she didn't live so far off I would totally hang with her over many drinks in a pub. Thanks Gillian. Everyone should go to her shop and if not buy something then "heart" her at the very least.

Also a big virtual hugs and kisses to...Aimee, Lula, Aaron, Mona and countless others that need it and deserve it.

ok, now on to more pressing things...I realized when I got to the shop today that I totally forgot my little mirror, and the lighting in the bathroom sucks, so all day I have been obsessing over my lipstick, do I even have any on??? I can't tell, also...am I shiny, do I need powder...I can't tell.

Damn, if I had known it would be one of these days I doubt getting out of bed would even have happened.

Which brings me to the next thing. I am always tired, like really tired...I'm starting to worry. I just can barely drag my lazy butt out of bed in the mornings, I can't help but wonder if there is something wrong, like maybe I have Cancer or something...either that or maybe I'm just bored.

That's it, I'm Jenn and I'm too cool for school...whatever.

I noticed though that women in bed have become a theme as of late in my artwork...maybe many years from now and I am a famous artist, this will be known as my "bed period".

This is my latest woman in bed...wow, that sounds kind of sexy...anyway, back to the point (if there was one) This piece is called "She Wore a Flower Behind Her Ear" and it is available in my etsy shop.

I am still running my 20% off sale, and I have raised half the money I need for my medicine, and I am so happy, so if you are reading this, the sale is still going on.

I wish I was in bed

I am feeling really burned out, it was one of those days I didn't want to be out of bed, it was too nice all curled up there with Keith.

I think if there is a heaven, then that's it.

I am trying not to freak out, trying so hard not to freak out...I am not sure if it's working. I am petrified about not being able to get my stupid medicine, I do not want to go back to being sick again like I was last year, when Keith would have to be up all night with me helping me to breath.

ok I understand that stressing about will not make it any better, and I do have 2 more days to raise $200 so that's not out of the question, though it is unlikely.

I don't know, I'll figure it out.

This weekend we will have the peanut, so I need to get my head together for that...must be able to care for someone else and forget my bullshit for a minute.

Oh, and while wasting time on Etsy today I found this great website called "Sloganizer" you need to go, it will come up with these great slogans for you.

Mine was..." Stiletto Heights Makes Me Hot"

that seems right, I mean if I wasn't me, I would make myself hot...ok that sounds gross and doesn't make sense, but to me it does.

This piece is something I listed today for sale in my shop, it is titled "We Were In This Bed" I love the way it turned out, so much that I am actually going to use a portion of it in the new banner for my shop, which will be premiering on Monday!!

A New Month Begins

I am really hoping that this month will be more productive than last one...I spent so much time stressing and freaking out about my comic, why it wasn't done, if I was going to have to go search and find an artist to complete the pages that were not done...all that worry in a way was for nothing as I did end up getting the pages, finally!!!
The book is finally at the printer, and I can rest easy, at least for the time being. What's sad is that this issue is going to be magnificent and now I have to find another artist, but for now I can be happy about it.

The book is still selling really well online, and the feedback I have gotten is great and everyone seems to love it, so I know I am doing something valid, and I know people are really responding to it. It is available for sale in my Etsy Store as well.

SO If I could only find an artist who is willing to do the book for more than one issue.

On another note, I am still running my sale on Etsy, and today I listed this altered wooden tea box today, it was done in conjunction with Jewelstreet's Creative Challenge.

The Box is titled Beautiful and Silent.

I am really looking forward to Monday when Etsy launches v2 of their site!!

Oh, and I may or may not be blogging tomorrow, but PLEASE....look for me at Funkycarter.com on Thursday as I will be guest blogging there.

Woo Hoo!!