When things don't turn out how you think

Well, it is the very end of November, the holiday season is here...and yet nothing seems to be going on.

Strange, I thought I would be totally swamped with holiday orders and relishing in the beautiful hue of being a non-starving artist...at least for a few weeks.

Things on Etsy have been really, really slow...I guess art might not be the greatest idea for a gift.

I think my real problem is the same as it always is I get a thought in my head of the way something is going to be...then of course, I am disappointed. It is almost impossible not to be.

Even in life, when I was a kid I would think about my life, and it surely was not this, don't get me wrong, I am more than happy and lucky that I get to spend my life with my soulmate, my very first love. But I really didn't think that I would be here, in Ohio...I always fancied myself in New York, or Boston.

I never thought I would be divorced before I was 30, then again, I could have solved that problem by not getting married at the age of 21 to someone that I knew was a mistake.

I don't know where I am going with this...I think I am getting the December blues, and it's not even the first yet. I am feeling anxious...I miss home, I miss being in A Christmas Carol at the Palace, I miss rows and rows of mill buildings and that cold bitter Atlantic Ocean air when I would go to the coast.

I miss the fantasy of me that never even got to exist.

I made this art card the other day and it is available in my etsy shop, there is something about it that reminds me of a dream I'll never have.

It is called "The Ballad Of Breakfast At Tiffanys"