Stiletto Heights

I am Jennifer Gordon- a mixed media collage artist and comic writer living in Columbus OH, with my fiance and love- Keith. I specialize in paintings, ACEOS, journals, art boxes and more. I am always available for commissions! Visit my etsy shop at: http://www.stilettoheights.etsy.com

Thursday, November 30, 2006

When things don't turn out how you think



Well, it is the very end of November, the holiday season is here...and yet nothing seems to be going on.

Strange, I thought I would be totally swamped with holiday orders and relishing in the beautiful hue of being a non-starving artist...at least for a few weeks.

Things on Etsy have been really, really slow...I guess art might not be the greatest idea for a gift.

I think my real problem is the same as it always is I get a thought in my head of the way something is going to be...then of course, I am disappointed. It is almost impossible not to be.

Even in life, when I was a kid I would think about my life, and it surely was not this, don't get me wrong, I am more than happy and lucky that I get to spend my life with my soulmate, my very first love. But I really didn't think that I would be here, in Ohio...I always fancied myself in New York, or Boston.

I never thought I would be divorced before I was 30, then again, I could have solved that problem by not getting married at the age of 21 to someone that I knew was a mistake.

I don't know where I am going with this...I think I am getting the December blues, and it's not even the first yet. I am feeling anxious...I miss home, I miss being in A Christmas Carol at the Palace, I miss rows and rows of mill buildings and that cold bitter Atlantic Ocean air when I would go to the coast.

I miss the fantasy of me that never even got to exist.

I made this art card the other day and it is available in my etsy shop, there is something about it that reminds me of a dream I'll never have.

It is called "The Ballad Of Breakfast At Tiffanys"

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