sleepless nights

so for what seems like forever I have been having a terrible bout of insomnia...you know the kind where you fall right to sleep because you are so tired, but then wake after about an hour or two and cannot go back to bed.

Now, I blame this pattern on equal parts allergies, panic, too much caffeine, and an imagination that wakes me with stories playing through my head, even at 3:00am.

After a few weeks of this pattern things start to get strange, noises seem both louder and further away, colors are brighter....that bright spring grass can seem almost menacing even during the day.

All that being said....I sort of like it, those hours when it seems no one else in the world is awake and you dream or you think you're dreaming even when you are awake.

Anyway....that's what the pieces posted today are all about, that fine line between awake and asleep, between madness and dreaming.

They will be posted in the shop later today.

xoxo
j

Dream a little Dream part II

ok so the other night it was Madonna telling me I'm fat, and last night it was this....

Last night I had a horrible dream, for lack of blogging material I might right about that.

I dreamed that my bubs and I were at the art museum (it was the Currier Museum of Art in Manchester NH) and there was a horrible storm and the lightning was so fast and so close that you could not even hear the thunder, everyone was clapping because it was like fireworks.

Then I said "everything is on fire" and it was....the entire city was looking red.

Now this was the city I lived in back home.

Then my bubs said we should get home and then all of a sudden we were there and it was my old house where I grew up and it was fine, not on fire...but when I opened the front door all these animals came out of the house and it was all my old pets that I had when I was little (they are obviously all dead now)...they were leaving the house and I was trying to grab them and bring them back in.

then I thought "this isn't right"

and I woke up.

I'm thinking this has something to do with marrying my bubs and finally moving onto a new stage in my life, and maybe finally realizing that "back home" is not home at all anymore...I'm not sure...well at least I was not being told I was fat in this one, but I will say it was so very sad to see all my old pets who have been gone for so long, I remember right now in the dream how real and solid they felt when I was trying to grab them.

:(

ok I have to get some work done, I am finishing up a wholesale order....more tomorrow.

what the hell does this mean???

ok so last night I had a dream that I was totally hanging out with Madonna, yeah it was sort of awesome.

Anyway in the dream she came over to my house after she got home from India, she was super cool/bitchy the way Madonna would totally be, you know the type, everyone has one snotty friend like this (sometimes I am afraid I am that snotty friend to most people). Anyway in the dream I told her I was getting married and showed her my dress...and she was totally not into the whole thing, like I could tell she was not impressed with the dress and then I started feeling bad about myself.

Then she lightened up and started talking about her daughter Lourdes and how she is sort of homely and annoying (hey, these were Madonna's words in my dream, NOT MINE)

so it was fun and we were laughing, then she said she was tired and laid down with her head in my lap and then she said...."have you gained weight"

then I woke up.

sigh....

so what the hell is this, now the queen of pop thinks I am meaty.

I rode the stationary bike for 7.5 miles when I woke up.

Happy Monday

the other side of the weekend

good morning

How are you?? Your weekends? Marvelous? Mine was low key but great, well great except for the couple hours yesterday when I started the long arduous journey that is my taxes....seriously, I have no idea how one little person (that's me) can amass so many receipts, between the post office and supply receipts I must be responsible for the death of so many trees just to make the receipt paper.

So, here's the deal, my taxes are a huge undertaking that I plan to work on little by little lest I go insane. So, if I am not posting quite as often, please know that I have not abandoned you all for a glamorous life, in fact if not blogging or painting or doing the etsy thing, I will most likely be wither 1- on the stationary bike peddling my way to hotness, or doing my taxes.

I am still going to really try to keep up with blogging at least 3 times a week but just in case....

so, in just a couple days I am going to see the Dancing With The Stars tour in all it's glorious over the top camp. I am so excited you see the way most people feel about going to see concerts, well that is how I feel about this, or going to the ballet or theater, they a very rare treats these days, but when it happens I am though the roof.

you see my mum raised me on a healthy diet of dancing, dancing, theater, more dancing and more theater, now...mind you I was NOT one of the bratty theater kids I would eventually work with when I was on the stage...no, I was a student of dance for many years and a lover of theater...we would get dressed up and her and I would go and sit in the cheap seats of the balcony and just lose ourselves in that world.

she would whisper quietly to me...."that's going to be you someday"

and it was, I can say that, for a brief while I lived the life of flood lights, dressing rooms, and curtain calls....and I would be lying if I said I did not in occasion miss that...

but it's a hard life, and the people...well some of them or more than wonderful and then there are others....well I'll just leave it at that, the others....and frankly my skin is not thick enough to deal with that, and the health of my poor bedraggled body also cannot deal with that rigorous schedule....so instead my new stage is my studio, my new actors are my collages...acting out the most wonderful stories, plays, dances...each one giving the type of performance that when they are done they feel a piece of them has died.

but in a good way.

wow...hell of a lot of babble there, and I am not sure if any of it makes any sense at all, can you tell I am putting off working on the receipt pile.

photo today is of a new(ish) piece that is available for sale in the shop.

The Mean Cheese Cometh

Happy Friday beautiful people!

so....here I sit in my little sundress I do a lot of paining in and I am in the studio, it's oddly hot and I am thinking of the to do list I have today...

you see it's Friday and we are going to get the little mean cheese today, and normally I would be freaking out, thinking about how I have to clean up my giant mess of artsy stuff, less the cheese will consume some paint....but now...I have no fears, finally the freedom and ease of having my own studio space...I can just close the door, and the mess is contained.

Though that being said, that does not release me from getting done the large amount of work today....

got to get Petite Heights lettered for Sunday, must package things, must photo a new piece I finished late last night....must try to get some creative time in here somewhere, right???

ok enough shop talk.

I had this wonderful dream last night that Keith and I were going to the house of our friends Steve and Ed, in the dream they had adopted a little boy, he looked like Mica from Heroes and was so adorable...I remember very clearly in the dream that as I walked to the door the little boy saw me and screamed out "Hi Buddy".

No I want them to adopt a baby....I know they have no plans f0r this, but that's neither here nor there.

So...you may have noticed one of the pics today happens to be an icon of sorts, you see the wonderful Stephanie has nominated me for the Rockin Girl Blogger Award...

hot damn, it's about time I get recognized as the hot blogger I am, right people???

(don't mind the insanity, it's the Frappio...it's always the Frappio)

So I know I am supposed to nominate people, and I know most of you out there have been nominated already, these awards tend to go around like the flu.

So, forgive me if you have already been nominated ...

first, Jody....because I so rudely snubbed her for the "Thinking Bloggers Award" a while back...she knows I think she is a sexy and hilarious rock star of a girl, and for that I love her.

Next I would like to nominate Miss Christmas Christmas Tree (aka Noelle Tannenbaum) because though I am new to her blog, I dig it....and she makes me laugh, and I am painfully jealous of her Christmas Tree farm living situation.

And last but not least...Alex, just for being Alex....also her blog is pink, and not to sound like Paris Hilton, but that's hot.

ok all, I'm out.

xoxoxoxo

stuff and more stuff

good morning

si I had a bit of a restless night last night, as I was just about to finally drift off to sleep I felt a bit of a creepy crawly feeling....and no, it's not restless leg syndrome....I was at first petrified it was a spider, and really I did not want to start screaming and then my poor bubs would have a heart attack, so I got out of bed and in a sort of shuffle frenzy exited the room to turn on a light, and low and behold, there is a lady bug on my arm.

the one big that does not make me loose my mind with fright if it is on me, so then the dilemma...what to do with the bug, part of me says put it outside, the other part said...you are wearing your teeny tiny jammies, if you open the door the drunken neighbors will see you next to naked....so I just put the bug in the other room and went back to bed, closing the door behind me so it would not follow.

About 2 hours later I wake having a really fun coughing fit...it goes on and on I get up I have some sips of water and nothing, cough, cough, cough....finally it stops, as a treat I decide to have a spoonful of peanut butter ice cream (for medicinal throat purposes) so I have a taste and then go to bed, forgetting to re-brush my teeth, I have to get up again and brush them.

ok, now back to be.

Once asleep I have this dream, my bubs and I are living in a HUGE apartment that is basically a giant warehouse, with toms of room for a studio and a little bedroom off to the side, we have a section that looks like a playground for the mean cheese...it is an amazing place...and what is more amazing is that in the dream I know that I am only paying $300 a month in rent.

it all seems familiar, and then I realize that I have in fact had this dream before, and like always in the dream...the place is haunted...immediately in the dream (as I realize I am dreaming but cannot control it) there seems to be a windstorm, like a hurricane inside, and we can barely move and know we need to et out as something does not want us there, we try the doors but they are so hard to open, finally we do manage them and we are making our way down the stairs, we finally get there and see that only moments before that the wind had blown a city dumpster against the building and it appears that someone is crushed under it (like the wicked witch in Oz)...then I wake up.

I don't know what it all means, I have had a dream of the place before, but not the wind....but def. the place and it is always haunted.

so, that being the case and that being my night I am once again slightly off this morning, I know I have to get some work done and stay on a schedule, though frankly things have been very slow recently on etsy this past week has been very different than usual, though I love the recent pieces I am doing so at least I am not in self doubt mode at the moment, just a bit worried about the potential summer slowdown in internet shopping.

But like Scarlet O'Hara I won't worry about that today, I will worry about that tomorrow.

The piece I am featuring today was done in conjunction with the creative challenge on etsy, the theme this week was to do something based on our high school experience.

Some of you readers knew me in high school and know that I was not very into any kind of high school scene, I did not have many friends there at all, and in fact spent most of my time at a little coffee house in a neighboring town as well as at a run down and seedy theater seeing live music with the rest of the lost souls and "freaks". So, this piece is based on that time in my life, and it is for sale in my shop.

"So Many Lost Years"