Things I Can and Can't Say

morning!

So yesterday didn't go according to plan at all, it was supposed to be the day that I work at the shop, but of course, UPS missed one of our boxes on the loading dock and the books didn't show up...so yesterday just became a confusing mess of yuck, with a little more yuck thrown on top of that.

(sigh)

Also, because it snowed (AGAIN) yesterday we decided not to travel to Andyman's Treehouse for Keith to play, the roads were bad, so it is postponed until next week. I am so sick of the fact that it has snowed every Wednesday for the past two months, that is our day together and we are sort of trapped in our neighborhood when it happens.

You see, in Columbus, they don't plow 90% of the streets they just wait for it to either melt, or become a giant thick layer of ice, which is what it usually turns into.

I feel bad for the Somalians (we have the second largest population of them in the country) most of them have never seen never mine driven in the snow...it makes for more car accidents than I have even seen in my life.

Last year a woman drove into the house across the street from ours, yes...INTO the house..I always see it on the news but I actually got to see it in person.

So I talked to my Mommy the other day, and it was wonderful and altogether sad all at once. My mom is one part Forest Gump and the second part Blanche Dubois...which makes any conversation with her sweet and a little sad all at once.

I know I have talked of our conversation about watching tv, and how she doesn't understand that I watch 2 shows...that's it.

When I talked to her she went on and on about Anna Nicole Smith...she is now totally obsessed with the whole thing, I haven't seen her this wrapped up in something since the OJ Simpson Trial, I let her go on about it humoring her and chiming in when I could...but when she was talking about how she could relate to Anna....that I had to change the subject.

The strange thing is, is that I miss my mom, so much sometimes. I mean really, it's almost a tangible thing. I don;t tell her though, and my question is why? Why don't I tell her?

Why is it that I can not express this to her, am I afraid that she will cry, yes, that's part of it. I know I am afraid I will cry...I try to be strong for her and everything, and try so very hard not to think of her being all alone, I try not to think about the fact that I have been a horrible daughter and at times she has been a horrible mother. None of that matters anymore, it's just us, it's just who we are.

She is the only family I have left in this world (besides my bubs of course) and I am so far away...

I need her to know that I love and I miss her, but for whatever reason I can barely say those words and I don't know what to do.

Wow, where did all that come from???? Sorry, I did not intend to write about that, I was oging to write about the fact that my bubs made Mexican food last night and the "cheese" we bought was called "Mexi melt" and it was advertised as imitation "cheese food"...cheese food, that can't be healthy, can it?

Oh and I also wanted to talk about the fact that I saw "The Departed" which I was dying to see because it was just so very "Boston" I also have a total need to see Oscar Winning movies...

Anyway, The Departed was incredible and so deserving of Best Picture this year. I would say more about it but I think I might save it to write in a letter to Martin Scorsese next week.

I spent an awful lot of time working on this piece and I finally listed it for sale in my Etsy shop

I am very proud of it, I just loved the composition of it, I actually sketched it out before I started it, I very rarely do that, but this time I did and it was well worth it I think.

ok, off to the races, I have a million little parcels to package up and more vintage lady art cards to make, as I am so in love with them.