Dear (Insert Name Here) week 10

Dear Joaquin Phoenix (my movie bubs)

how could you???

Wait, should I start with, is it true??

Oh, don't give me that look, that "I have no idea what you're talking about baby" look...you know what I'm talking about.

While surfing the internet yesterday I stumbled onto a "news story" in which Lindsay Lohan...cough...Blowhan...cough....boasted about having sex with you.

So....is it true?

If it is, I just have to say, I am appalled....you are my movie bubs, I expect more from you and your soulful and sad eyes...wait...I am getting weak here.

Sure you had your past drug and alcohol problems, but really, let's be honest, who hasn't...but Blowhan, come one!!!!!!

I know I know...she meant "nothing to you", she is just a coked up skank...whatever.

I am hurt, you hurt me movie bubs.

What's worse, I want it to be over with us, I want to move on and find myself another movie bubs...but you know what, Blowhan has had sex with all of them.

Jude Law....yup, she nailed him
James Franco....no their just friends...wait what did you say, oh...yup she DID have sex with him.

aaaaaaggggghhh!!

I just expected more from you. I was talking to my real life bubs about it last night, he was more forgiving of "the incident" saying that if the "good Lord Johnny Cash" liked you, then you have to be a good person, my real bubs also made mention that you were probably all hopped up on "goofballs" or "poppers" when you had sex with her....making it a forgivable offense. After all, you don't know that you are my movie bubs.

I want to forgive you, I do...trust me, I married a no good hippie during my wild chemical enhanced days...this will take time.

Just stay away from her, and go to the doctors, for serious you probably need to be de-loused.

your ex

Jennifer Gordon