Stiletto Heights

I am Jennifer Gordon- a mixed media collage artist and comic writer living in Columbus OH, with my fiance and love- Keith. I specialize in paintings, ACEOS, journals, art boxes and more. I am always available for commissions! Visit my etsy shop at: http://www.stilettoheights.etsy.com

Monday, July 02, 2007

The Neighbor mystery and drama part II

(WARNING THIS POST CONTAINS ADULT LANGUAGE AND THEMES)

Online Dating

Mingle2 - Online Dating



Hope you all had a wonderful weekend, mine was...well.....it's over with, so that is good.

As I mentioned before bubs, mean cheese, and I went on a big walk on Saturday afternoon....a "forced march" if you will in hopes that it would tire out little cheesy and she would go to sleep early. To our surprise she did not throw fits during the walk...ok that is a lie she through some fits but none so large that we had to turn around, and she managed to walk quite a bit of the time herself....at least 50% of the time...so Keith only had to carry her for half the time (yes we know she should not be carried at all...but it was that or she would lay on the ground and scream).

Though I believe the cheese got back at us for the rest of the weekend...complete with screaming, hitting, screaming, crying, and yes...even more screaming.

sigh...

so yesterday morning my bubs decides to take the cheese to the park so I can take a shower and have a moment to myself without the constant banging at the bathroom door of the little one...As I get out of the shower my bubs is knocking at the door, I quickly throw in a towel and he sort of dramatically bursts into the bathroom.

my bubs - Do not answer the door no matter what happens...mean cheese and I are leaving to do recycling

me- but what happened

my bubs- Mr. Hillbilly and Mrs Hillbilly were fighting

me- so

my bubs- and she chased her out of the house and she ran into the car and locked herself in, she was screaming "stay away from me asshole"

me- oh my god

my bubs- no it's way worse...he was naked

me- ugh....

my bubs- yeah totally naked, I saw his cock.

me- did the mean cheese see???

my bubs- no she was in the van at the time, I told him he had 3 seconds to get back in the house or I would kill him.

me- bubsie you don't want to fight a naked guy....you saw Borat...........(long pause) I can't believe he was naked.

my bubs- I saw his cock (he is repeating himself, I think he is in shock) I saw his flailing cock.

(end scene)

um.................what the hell am I living next too....oh and as I was typing this I heard mr gangsta on the other side of me lock himself out of the apartment he doesn't live in next door....he made some calls to "his lady" and then I believe he proceeded to break into the apartment.

(I need to move, I need to move, I need to move)

wow...I was going to showcase some of my work, but I really hate to show something pretty in a post that uses the words "flailing cock", so please if you would like to see some pretty things you can visit my shop.

more tomorrow...

xoxoxo
jenn

Labels: , , , , , ,

17 Comments:

Blogger Aaron said...

"Flailing cock". Yes, I believe that is a first for the Stiletto Heights blog. Please move. Thank you.

New England is nice this time of year. I'm just saying.

Sorry I haven't been around. I've missed you!!! xoxo

8:23 AM  
Blogger jewelstreet said...

I'm glad that had a warning because that is a little hard to take on a Monday morning.

Oh, btw, it is really great being near the beach. Hint, hint.

8:31 AM  
Blogger Beej said...

I dunno, but if you ever start a new comic, it needs to be called "flailing cock"

8:49 AM  
Blogger stilettoheights said...

actually Ben Keith and I decided to start a Euro Trash Death Metal band...it is to be called "Flailing Death Cock"

8:51 AM  
Blogger NancyPearlWannabe said...

If flailing cock doesn't get you an NC-17 rating, I don't know what will.

You know you love Boston. There's lots of great places to live around here...

9:20 AM  
Blogger m.Lee said...

OMG! Your post is so much more interesting today than mine! Wow. That sucks so bad. When I lived in columbus and had hilbilly neighbors all he did was drink a lot of natty light but he certainly never showed his "flailing cock". He was actually rather nice.

Maybe you should call the cops?

What part of Columbus do you live in? eeek!

I agree with aaron, New England is nice this time of year. So is Boston specifically. Except when the hoodlums down the street call you a fat bitch when you are 8 months pregnant. Goes to show you that the crazy assholes are everywhere.

9:26 AM  
Blogger CountryGirl_CityLife said...

You are so trying to get yourself an NC-17 rating, I think this ought to do it, thanks stiletto and bub's neighbors for providing pertinent dirty blog material.

10:24 AM  
Blogger Cozy said...

A good laugh with the morning coffee. Sorry you have to live with this but there will be hundreds of people now with the phrase "flailing cock" stuck in their heads today.

10:39 AM  
Blogger Steph said...

I have to admit "flailing cock" had me laughing too, but I know it is no laughing matter for you and your bubs.

Please move, so you can look back on it and laugh.

11:26 AM  
Blogger Craftymoose Crafts said...

The country is very nice, too!

I hope moving is a serious possibility for you & your bubs.

And, yup, I'm stuck with that same image in my head, thank you very much! Lol!

1:49 PM  
Blogger The Boob Lady said...

I love it. Not your situation of course, but your use of "Flailing Cock" in a post. I love it here more now.

1:50 PM  
Blogger Karen Beth said...

Oh my, what an ordeal. Wow!

I agree with CGCL. You should have your NC-17 rating now. Ha! Poor you for having to go through the trauma it took to get there.

Hope your Monday has been better!

xo,

Karen Beth :)

3:30 PM  
Blogger GeminiWisdom said...

LOL. I need to use that in a book sometime. Not the YA ones I currently write, but the adult romance ones I plan to write in the future.

Flailing cock.

LOL.

Nice.

4:01 PM  
Blogger alexgirl said...

Whoa. That is cuh-razy. And I thought MY neighbor was a lunatic. (I'll have to post about her soon).
Is bubs still traumatized?
And I loved the reference to Borat. AWESOME.

5:02 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

If the film crew from "Cops" ever does show up in your neigborhood, please promise that you will look out your window and wave to the camera for us.

1:34 AM  
Blogger Meg said...

hehe. I can't stop giggling. Half because of the 'appearance' of a "flailing cock" and half because of the nicknames you have given everyone...still giggling like a lunatic. I should grow up, this is clearly a serious problem for you ^_^

Re: I have just discovered Eve Arnold and I love her. She makes me want to be a photographer.

5:47 AM  
Blogger jungle dream pagoda said...

....and the blogspoysoundbite of the week award goes to..... Stilletto heights for the phrase"flailing cock",um 2 words I never thought I would type!

4:18 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home