Stiletto Heights

I am Jennifer Gordon- a mixed media collage artist and comic writer living in Columbus OH, with my fiance and love- Keith. I specialize in paintings, ACEOS, journals, art boxes and more. I am always available for commissions! Visit my etsy shop at:

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Dear (Insert Name Here)

Dear Santa

I know, I have sort of waited for the last minute to write to you, but by now you probably realize that I am a procrastinator and well....a little lazy.

So I will get to the point....

for Christmas this year can you please make sure that you do not overload me with sweets, you see my bubs' family sends boxes (AND BOXES) of food to us, filled with all sorts of things that I cannot resist...cookies...cough...whoopie pies...cough. So you see, if you fill my Christmas sock with assorted chocolates I will most likely be diabetic by New Years, if you want to give treats, maybe some Cheese-Its, or some Luna Bars and Red Bull (sugar free)

Also, as you know I am really hard to buy clothes for, what with the being short but still having really long legs, also there's the whole "boobs" thing that Santas are always mystified please just a gift certificate would be best, maybe something from Macy' know, if your looking for ideas

Books are always good, please check with my bubs, he has the list of vintage Nancy Drew's I still need, I am sure you could swipe some of those from your lazy book reading girl elves.

Most importantly this year I want happiness and health for my bubs, the mean cheese, my mom, me and everyone else I love.

oh, I also want a thicker skin and a better self esteem.

yours respectfully
Jennifer Gordon

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Blogger Chucka Stone Designs said...


*Jenn (yes I'm a 2 n Jenn too) goes to make tomato soup with cheez-its for lunch*

This is the perfect letter to Santa, good thing you're not in Canada or who knows what type of response you could get from those nasty elves out on the prowl ;) They would just love your legs & boobs comments lol

I think I may have some vintage Nancy Drew books hiding at my mom's house. Next time I'm there I'll have a look around & convo you in Etsy to let you know...

10:19 AM  
Blogger artandghosts said...

wishing you a wonderful xmas, Jen, and a magical new year!


10:41 AM  
Blogger Erikka said...

that's not too much for a lady to ask for! happy holidays!

11:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think Santa hears you.


12:42 PM  
Blogger jungle dream pagoda said...

Hi Sweetie
Still kicking here at the Pagoda!
I couldn't agree more about the Luna bars and the sug-free red bull! I have been sooooooooo good this X-mas season,but nothing like knowin' your wearing a leotard on stage to put the qui-ee-tous on holiday treats!
Miss you be back more regularly soon!
Hope your X-mas is going well so far!

1:38 PM  
Blogger m.Lee said...

I would like Santa to have a little talk with my inlaws and get them to stop buying clothes that don't fit and watches that we don't wear.

Gift cards are good.

4:54 PM  
Blogger Chickenbells said...

Perfect list...I would love me some Cheez-it's...but unfortunately, someone tipped off the fat man that I am both dairy and wheat/gluten not fair.

Maybe I should ask for my dairy and wheat allergies to go away? Now THAT would be a Christmas Miracle!!

5:37 PM  
Blogger Aaron said...

I wish Santa would stop groping that woman. Seriously.

7:02 PM  
Blogger said...

okay, I need to copy your letter and send it from me too, sans the bubs part, but still, aboutt he same! hahahahah xoxoxooxox

2:38 AM  
Blogger Seraphine said...

A gift certificate and a red bull? I don't think you even have to be nice for something like that. I hope you don't waste next year being good again if that's all you are going to ask for!

12:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

me too me too! no sweets and lots of luna bars instead. I would also take stronger willpower for food and exercising.

2:07 PM  
Blogger Dharma Designs said...

Isn't that the truth! I hate the holidays becuase of all the tempting treats. :-)

4:13 PM  
Blogger alexgirl said...

I completely love your list. Especially the bit about self esteem and thicker skin thrown in at the end.
Good luck not getting candy. People LOVE to buy everyone else candy at the holidays, but hate receiving it. Ironic, no?

11:59 PM  

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