Dear (Insert name here)
Dear Bing Crosby's Kids
how are you? Are you still alive? I sure hope so or this letter will go on deaf (or is it dead) ears.
Just this morning I was listening to a tape of the old timey Bing Crosby Family Holiday Special...it's awesome, filled with wonderful carols and all you kids singing. My favorite part is that it is sponsered by Charleston Cigarettes, the only cigarette with out a nasty after taste...it's smoooooooooooth.
or something like that.
Anyway, while listening I said to my bubs, I love Bing Crosby, to which he replied...you know he was an asshole, right?
really??? I mean I think I knew he had a problem with the joy juice and tended to be an oafish drunkard but was he really as asshole???
My bubs told me he read in a bio that Bing would get liquered up and then beat all you kids, and that you never wanted to sing or be on his shows, but the fear of abuse kept you in line.
That made me sad, much in the same way as when I heard the Nun from The Sound Of Music, in real life beat those kids too, that she did not bring songs and joy to the family but bruises and heartache.
so, Bing Crosby's kids wherever and whoever you might be...I just wanted to say, I am sorry he beat you and forced you to sing Silent Night in Latin on the radio...I hope if you are still alive that you can find joy in the holidays, I also hope you did not fall victim to the really awesome advertising plan from Charleston cigarettes....and you are not smoking a pack and a half a day of the only cigarette without that nasty after taste.....they're smooooooooooooooth.