Stiletto Heights

I am Jennifer Gordon- a mixed media collage artist and comic writer living in Columbus OH, with my fiance and love- Keith. I specialize in paintings, ACEOS, journals, art boxes and more. I am always available for commissions! Visit my etsy shop at:

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Dear (Insert name here)

Dear Bing Crosby's Kids

how are you? Are you still alive? I sure hope so or this letter will go on deaf (or is it dead) ears.

Just this morning I was listening to a tape of the old timey Bing Crosby Family Holiday's awesome, filled with wonderful carols and all you kids singing. My favorite part is that it is sponsered by Charleston Cigarettes, the only cigarette with out a nasty after's smoooooooooooth.

or something like that.

Anyway, while listening I said to my bubs, I love Bing Crosby, to which he know he was an asshole, right?

really??? I mean I think I knew he had a problem with the joy juice and tended to be an oafish drunkard but was he really as asshole???

My bubs told me he read in a bio that Bing would get liquered up and then beat all you kids, and that you never wanted to sing or be on his shows, but the fear of abuse kept you in line.

That made me sad, much in the same way as when I heard the Nun from The Sound Of Music, in real life beat those kids too, that she did not bring songs and joy to the family but bruises and heartache.

so, Bing Crosby's kids wherever and whoever you might be...I just wanted to say, I am sorry he beat you and forced you to sing Silent Night in Latin on the radio...I hope if you are still alive that you can find joy in the holidays, I also hope you did not fall victim to the really awesome advertising plan from Charleston cigarettes....and you are not smoking a pack and a half a day of the only cigarette without that nasty after taste.....they're smooooooooooooooth.

happy holidays
Jennifer Gordon

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Blogger Terri said...

LOL hilarious and yet, sad! Whatever did happen to those kids?

9:33 AM  
Blogger Hobocamp Crafts said...

whoa this may* have ruined Christmas for me.. I'm sad. I need a drink

9:41 AM  
Blogger Noelle said...

There was an article in the Times similar to this, about the artist who turned out to be a bad, bad man. Can you still like the art when you know too much about a person?

I do feel bad for those kids.

12:14 PM  
Blogger gilfling said...

oh gosh - really? I will never be able to listen to my bing crosby christmas album in the same way again.

hope you are well! xxx

12:57 PM  
Blogger Heatherly said...

Hey Jen!! I felt the same way when I read he beat his kids. I do try to block out those thoughts because I LOVE all his music. But I must admit, it's hard to watch some of his movies where he's all sweet and lovely dovey to the kids in the film. As Bing's child, it must have been horrible to watch!
PS: I'm really loving your work. The pixs that you've been using arew wonderful!! :-)

1:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At least they didn't turn out like the Jacksons... or did they?

2:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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10:25 PM  
Blogger Sobe said...

Classic...I love it. I also love the keywords/tags that appear at the bottom of the blog.

9:24 AM  
Anonymous Beej said...

Kids are THERE for the beating. That's how Santa keeps them in line. SHEESH.

9:51 AM  
Blogger Emma said...

So wrong, it's right. This was quite hilarious, I cannot lie.

11:33 AM  
Blogger Gregory said...

You have a gift, Jenn :)

I did some quick searching on Bing's personal life. I came up with this site. Check it out.

Some of them may still be alive, but a few committed suicide. Hmmmm.

2:57 PM  
Blogger m.Lee said...

Do you know who should be beaten on a regular basis?

Spammers. Especially blog targeting spammers.

Have you heard about the big time Russian Viagra spammer that was killed by the mob?

8:22 PM  

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