Stiletto Heights

I am Jennifer Gordon- a mixed media collage artist and comic writer living in Columbus OH, with my fiance and love- Keith. I specialize in paintings, ACEOS, journals, art boxes and more. I am always available for commissions! Visit my etsy shop at: http://www.stilettoheights.etsy.com

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Dear (insert name here)



Dear Celine Dion

first I am going to start by saying that you are one crazy, fantastic, diva of a thing. You rule, and I am being entirely serious.

I know, I know...it's sort of hip to hate you, but come on, I really can't do that, you make me smile.

I love that you are over dramatic and beat on your chest when you sing, I love that you speak in a thick Canadian accent (which reminds me of my mom) complete with horrible grammar. I love that you are married to some old man named Romaine or Marcoux....or something. I love that you wear ridiculous diamond rings shaped like tigers and leopards, just because you can.

Now I am not going to say that I have fabby taste in music, there are lots of things I like that hipsters around the world can be united behind....but then there is the part of me that loves, with a fiery passion. Bad pop music.

I listen proudly to the Partridge Family, and The Spice Girls, and I do it without that faux sense of ironic entitlement....I do it because it brings me joy.

That is how I feel about you, when I hear you bust out with that overly sentimental crappy song from Titanic....well it never fails to give me the chills, and makes me glad the Leonardo DiCaprio died in that movie, just so this song would exist so that many years later you can sing it on Dancing with The Stars....and I can watch you, tears streaming down my face while I shovel apple pie in my mouth.

thank you Celine, for giving me that moment.

I love you and your huge hair.
Jennifer Gordon

(this post is dedicated to you Tara!)

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8 Comments:

Blogger Michelle said...

You must make me confess that although I am not a Celine fan... I do believe she looks WAY better now than she did 20 years ago. Money will do that I suppose...

I love that you watched her, crying, all the while shoveling pie in your mouth!! :)

9:18 AM  
Blogger SadieAndLeo said...

I loved this so much, thank you! After my whole entire crappy day yesterday I needed to laugh with joy over this! Thank you thank you thank you... or should I say merci beaucoup!

I am still willing to shell out over $400 to see her in Vegas? Do you think I can sell that amount in blood? Maybe not.

I've got to burn you her new CD.

Here's to Pop!

11:02 AM  
Blogger Christina Lazar-Schuler said...

LOL! Love this... but i take umbrage that you say she has a thick Canadian accent. You should be more clear, and add that it's a thick, FRENCH CANADIAN accent LOL! =)

Most of us 'regular' Canadians [aka Canucks] have minor accents and tend to throw around the word 'eh' alot [is that a word?!?] and when drunk utter the occasional 'hoser'. BUT the vast majority of us Canucks do NOT speak like Celine, nor do we have her enormous voice, chest thumping, heart wrenching, bank account envying power.

Us regular Canucks, well all we want [what we really really want - insert Spice Girls backtrack here] is a really good beer as we sit in our igloos above the 49th parallel, watching hockey on our wide screen tvs. Go Canucks Go! Pass me a beer eh!

11:47 AM  
Blogger stilettoheights said...

Christina....yes, a thicj French Canadian Accent...where I am from in NH everyone talked like that, in fact my mom only spoke french (canadian) most of her life....

:)

5:24 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

I have to ask.... what's wromg with Ms. Dion's crotch in the first picture?

I couldn't help NOT noticing it...

5:32 PM  
Blogger Chickenbells said...

I'm not a huge Celine fan at all...but, I have to admit...the girl can belt out a tune!

9:52 PM  
Blogger ambika said...

This perfectly captures how I feel about a lot of pop music.

Loving things for ironies sake just get's exhausting after a while.

12:37 PM  
Blogger Ming the Merciless said...

Whitney is crack whore. Mariah is a nut case. By comparison, Celine is the most sane person in the music world.

My favorite song by her is that duet she did with Andrea Bocelli.

1:11 AM  

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