I did it...

Today the unexpected happened, I got to the shop, and as per my normal ritual, I turn on the computer, before I even hit the lights on or crack open my first low carb Monster energy drink...I turn on the computer and pull up the Etsy site. I obsess, I check my shop, see if anything sold over night when I was away from the machine (last night, it was a journal).

I do this every day, sometimes stuff sells, sometimes it doesn't, but this is my ritual, then I check my etsy messages, move on from there, to real e mail, back to etsy, and so it goes...but this morning I noticed I had more messages than usual, especially having only sold one piece last night, and there it was when I checked the messages, there were several, that had the word "Congrats" in the subject...someway, somehow...I had eeeked my way onto the 100 Top Sellers List...

I did hope for this, I wanted to be there, but I had no idea or inkling that it would happen anytime soon. I am at 99, which in all actuality means that I will probably be knocked off the list tomorrow, but for right now, well...right now I am proud of myself.

The strange thing is, I am most proud of myself for having the courage to put my work out there, for other people to even see it, I used to (and still do inside) think of each piece of artwork almost as if it is pages ripped from my diary, instead of words I am using colors and pictures...and everytime I list something, or sell something...I am scared for a minute, what if people hate it, or what if they understand what it is I am saying, and they don't ahte it, but hate me...

childish...yes, I'm afraid it is...my ex once read my journal, as a way to punish me...he read my poetry and would constantly ask about phrases, what did it mean...who was I talking about...words betrayed me, so I turned to art. I turned to collage, color, texture, and hidden meaning, thickly layered subtext to tell my stories, express my thoughts, scream my fears, and rejoice in the very beauty and pain that is everyday life...

To be able to put these emotions on a canvas...and then hold them up for people to see...well, it's frightening. But I am doing it, I do it everyday.

That is why I am proud.

The piece I am featuring today is actually on hold for someone, a woman named Angie, who has been an incredible support during these early months of me selling my work. She has come back time and time again for more pieces...I am so thankful to her, and to everyone who has bought something from me!!

I am running a special secret 10% off everything in my shop sale- as a thank you for getting me to the Top Seller list...even if it is only fleeting, I know I was there once.

If you want to take part in the sale, just buy whatever you want, and write Top Seller in the message to Buyer section, and I will invoice you with the fixed prices.

thanks again everyone!!