Stiletto Heights

I am Jennifer Gordon- a mixed media collage artist and comic writer living in Columbus OH, with my fiance and love- Keith. I specialize in paintings, ACEOS, journals, art boxes and more. I am always available for commissions! Visit my etsy shop at:

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Dear (insert Name Here)

Dear Mel B (um...that's Scary Spice for all of you who are not "in the know")

I love you, no, not a lesbian way....but you know, just in an "I love the Spice Girls AND Dancing with the Stars kind of way"

Now, for a long long time, Posh Spice (miss Victoria) has been my Spice Girl of choice, but lately as you know Posh has been looking a little thin, and well...a little odd, and frankly this "friendship" she has with Tom and Katie, well, it creeps me the hell out.

But then I discovered you, no longer were you just the woman who sadly got knocked up by Eddie Murphy (btw, what were you thinking with that one, how did you let him put his "thing" inside of you?). I will just say that for the record, after Jennie Garth, I wanted you to win on Dancing, though you were a ringer, it did not matter to me, you were beautiful up there, all slutty one minute and sort of classy slutty the next.

It was hot.

Also, your partner yeah he's hot too, in fact I think you should leave your husband for him, then you two could "dance" whenever you wanted to.

I'm sure he would take care of Eddie Murphy's love child just as well as your hubby can.

oh also.........can you score me some tickets to the Spice Girls reunion??? Seriously??

Jennifer Gordon

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Anonymous Karen Beth said...

No anonymous comment yet?

Well, while I did love Mel B on DWTS, I was glad that Elio (or whatever his name is) and Julianne won. To be honest, I have a little crush on Julianne. Not a crush in a sexy-love way but a crush in a you-are-so-absolutely-gorgeous-that-I-want-to-hate-you-for -the-rest-of-my-life-way.

Make any sense?

Probably not. :)

And I had no idea that MelB had Eddie Murphy's love child. Ewwwwwww....

11:22 AM  
Anonymous Noelle said...

She's not that scary.

Oh, I got my stilettoheights art from your shop today! It's beautiful! I love that it came wrapped in a VCR tape box. I was the most special person at work today.

12:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know what, I see what you're seeing here in Mel. She is oddly funny and quirky too, and I find that very appealing.

Wow, you really do have all the scoops on celebrities, I bow to your knowledge.

I'm just glad everything is right with the world and Marie was the first to get the boot last night. As it should be.

12:51 PM  
Anonymous gregorymeyer said...

I don't know much about Spicy girls and Dancy stars. I do know this - while Eddie Murphy is a real human being, I can't seem to seperate him from the "Donkey" character in Shrek these days. The man channels jackass.

[PS - those word verifications can be tricky sometimes]

1:54 PM  
Blogger alexgirl said...

I think Posh might still be my favorite, but I know what you mean about the creepy TomKat friendship. It's wrong, very wrong.
I haven't really watched DWTS, but I wanted Jennie Garth to win. Nobody's better than Kelly Taylor!!

4:25 PM  
Blogger Aaron said...

Here is my handy Spice Girl "quality" chart, and I consider it the final word, given that I did see Spice World in the theater, and at one point owned it on VHS.

1. Ginger Spice - Redhead = best. Also had the chutzpah to leave the group and go solo fist.

2. Scary Spice - Not scary. Attractive. Actually can sing.

3. Baby Spice - In the day, I thought BS was gross (I don't like blondes, and there is the whole "baby" thing), but now she's grown up all classy and cute.

4. La Spice Sportif - Sometimes looks hot, sometimes looks like a monster. Can sing, but her voice is warbly and loud.

5. Posh Spice - There is nothing redeeming about Posh. Yuck.

7:03 PM  
Anonymous Celise said...

LOL. Eddie Murphy. Isn't his career in the toilet right now? Seriously. What he needs to do is stop making these lame ass Eddie-Murphy-is-50,000-different-characters type of movies and go back to his Beverly Hills Cop days. He needs another action flick. What I can't understand is why he cheated on his wife. She's beautiful? And you're picking up whores on the streets?

See, there's a reason why I married a white man.

Oh. And Scary Spice was always my fav, too. Ha-c-yah, Hold tight!

9:14 PM  
Blogger Chickenbells said...

Oh...I saw the spice girls on their very first tour...I went with a 9-year-old was one of the best live shows I've seen...and since the average age of the audience was about 8...I could actually see over everyone's was like having front row seats!

9:28 PM  

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