Stiletto Heights

I am Jennifer Gordon- a mixed media collage artist and comic writer living in Columbus OH, with my fiance and love- Keith. I specialize in paintings, ACEOS, journals, art boxes and more. I am always available for commissions! Visit my etsy shop at: http://www.stilettoheights.etsy.com

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Dear (Insert Name Here) Week 13

(disclaimer.....my brain is mush and I am sick, please bear with me)

Dear Whoever it is that invented NyQuil, DaQuil...or there generic equivalent OR if that person is dead....the CEO of Vicks will be fine.

Hey buddy...what the hell is going on with your medicine, when I was little and had an illness I would always take NyQuill and be assured that I could at least sleep for a little while...

but seriously something is not right with your medicine now.

Ok, the box clearly states that it is the "Nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, stuffy head, fever, so you CAN REST medicine"

that being said....I was still all of those things, what the box should say is so Jenn can take it, be up for 30+ hours all the while hallucinating that there are cats in her apartment and seeing light orbs.

Now I know Nyquil can make you hallucinate, after all when I was small I had a rather bad ass neighbor girl who drank a whole bottle of it and ate a handful of Flintstone Vitamins, she often bragged about the "things she saw" before she had to get her stomach pumped.

Now, maybe it's not you...maybe it's me, maybe I have somehow built up an immunity over the years to cold medicines and allergy pills, maybe I am like the Elvis of cold medicine and I need "something more" to get me through, but I doubt it.

If it's osmehting you have done to my favorite nighttime cold medicine, please...I bed you, change it back, even my bubs begs you, as I kept him all night with my non stop sneezing and coughing.

yours,
cough....cough...

Jennifer Gordon

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16 Comments:

Blogger Beej said...

Dear New York Yankees (and in particular, Alex Rodriguez),

I know that losing makes you sad, and this year, you've got lots to be sad about. But dudes, it's just a game.

Remember back in the ALCS a few years ago, when you were getting thrown out at first base? Slapping the ball out of somebody's glove is really really lame. For real, it's just a game. No need to try and injure someone.

Again, last night, when you were getting tagged out at second, coming up and elbowing Dustin Pedroia in the junk to try and prevent a double play? That's just gay of you. Like, really, really gay. Not in good way either.

Seriously....you've all got billions of dollars. Buy yourself a decent personality, please.

Smoochies,
B

8:50 AM  
Blogger stilettoheights said...

Yankees Suck


(sorry New York readers)

9:34 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

I totally agree with you Jenn! I'd rather hallucinate than sneeze constantly.

11:29 AM  
Blogger sara.wears.skirts said...

nyquil + flintstones vitamins... that sounds delicious.

feel better soon, lady!

-sara
http://girlscantell.typepad.com

11:40 AM  
Blogger Karen Beth said...

Dear Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt... both of you,

I was in the Kroger yesterday and saw a magazine with a picture of your wee-one Shiloh on the front. She was being held up by you, Brad, her hunka-hunka burning love Daddy-O.

I am fully aware of the fact that I'm kicking below the belt when I say this but I'm going to forge ahead and say it anyway...

To be the product of Hollywood's "Golden IT Couple" or whatever you two are... she really isn't that cute, is she?

Huh.

I mean, I've seen it happen before: Really pretty couples spawn really ugly kids but c'mon... this is YOU TWO we are talking about. This isn't just any old really pretty couple. You could have swept in and had her some plastic surgery in vitro or something. I mean... they can do that, right? At least an ear tuck or some lipo on those lips (sorry, Ang). SOMETHING!

Or, at the VERY least, dress her in something designer and fabulously cute. The frock that she was wearing while you, Brad, her hunka-hunka burning love Daddy-O, was holding her was something that I could pick up at the corner Fred's dollar store! Hello! At least do her lineage justice with what she wears. Maddox gets designer clothes. That boy is always rocking the fancy duds.

I mean, I know it is mean to speak thusly about a baby and maybe she will grow into her satellite ears and those swarm-stung lips but for now... poor thing.

I will stop while I'm ahead. And, I hope that you two will do the same meaning... enough babies! Really...

Hunka-hunka burning love to you both,

Karen Beth :)bn

12:33 PM  
Blogger Ming_the_Merciless said...

Sorry to hear you are sick.

I haven't used NyQuil for a couple of years but the last time I had a sniffling, coughing, sneezing, whatever; NyQuil worked wonders for me.

Drink some chicken soup, lots of fluid (avoid dehydration) and take it easy for a couple of days.

Have your 'bub dress up in a nurse outfit and take care of you....er, that is if you are into the cross-dressing thing, of course. ;-)

12:46 PM  
Blogger Izabella said...

sorry to hear your not feeling well!

that nyquil is some wicked stuff, I took it once & that was enough for me ;)

get better sweet friend~

xo Bella

2:56 PM  
Blogger moogan said...

I hope you feel better. your wit's still there. or perhaps you wrote this weeks letter while on a drug induced frenzy

5:31 PM  
Blogger Moose on the Loose said...

I'm so sorry you're sick! I hope that you feel better and that your nyquil will end up being effective.

By the way... I agree. YANKEES REALLY REALLY SUCK!

7:16 PM  
Blogger Steph said...

Another great letter! I hope you feel better soon!

7:55 PM  
Blogger http://afancifultwist.typepad.com said...

Tequila Baby. A shot glass, a bottle of Cuervo, limes, salt. 4 of those and you will sleep. I KNOW!! The Nyquil is so weird. If I was sick and I wanted to sleep hard, I would take it, and be gone in seconds...No MORE! Now I get wired and my nose does dry up, but it stops up my sinuses and my head feels like it will explode....SO sad!!!! I feel your pain!! xxxooo, V

9:44 PM  
Blogger jungle dream pagoda said...

Benydryl is mommys little helper.

10:58 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

LOL! Hope you feel better soon, sweetie :-)

3:43 AM  
Blogger artandghosts said...

get well soon, honey!

and those orbs, you know, they might be visiting spooks! ghaaa! fever puts you in touch with stuff, so they say....

im officially no help whatsoever, but i mean well, hheee.

xxx

6:24 AM  
Blogger CountryGirl_CityLife said...

When you drink too much, like me, nyquil stops knocking you out, and just makes you hallucinate. Take 2 shots, its not like it kills babies or anything...

10:15 AM  
Blogger Maryam in Marrakesh said...

I am worried about your health. Have you done homeotherapy? I am thinking you need to build up your immune system.

12:07 PM  

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