Dear Insert Name Here
Dear Joaquin Phoenix
Hi how how are you?
um...remember last week when I very publicly declared that we we were "over"...remember that? Well, you know I was joking right?
I was temporarily insane you see, it was real life bubs' birthday and I always get a little psycho when presents of any kind are involved, throw in cake and I am done for.
So you see...I was not in my right mind. I am back to normal now and I just wanted you to know we are most certainly NOT broken up.
So there you have it, no excuse to head back to the demon liquor now....you're stuck with me....oops, I mean, lucky you...you have me.
Yours forever (and ever, and ever)