Stiletto Heights

I am Jennifer Gordon- a mixed media collage artist and comic writer living in Columbus OH, with my fiance and love- Keith. I specialize in paintings, ACEOS, journals, art boxes and more. I am always available for commissions! Visit my etsy shop at:

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Dear (Insert Name Here) Week VI

(photo courtesy of

Dear Ian Ziering

first off...a warning, this letter is going to be a bit humiliating, more so for me than you but you know, humiliating nonetheless.

I need to start with saying I am probably the biggest Beverly Hills 90210 fan that there ever was, no seriously. I love that and I have seen every episode at least 5 times, and when I say at least that is really what I mean because it is really closer to 10 times.

You rocked as lovable good for nothing Steve Sanders in that show, and the people that know me can totally tell you that I am such a "Kelly" that it's not even funny. Except for the fact that I have brown hair and well, I'm poor, but other than that, we're the same.

(oh and my bubs is totally Dylan too, a fact that he denies and sort of hates me for.)

anyway, I realize I am not writing to "Steve" but to you Ian, I just wanted to clarify that I sincerely adore you, so much so in fact....I will only admit this here, I have been secretly watching you on Dancing With The Stars, and can really dance.

I know that I am going to catch a lot of crap for watching Dancing With The Stars, but come on's not like I'm voting or anything, I am just enjoying the art of dance, oh and I never watch the results dancing, no show.

but whatever, I have 3 questions for you.

1- why do you pronounce your name "I"an? instead if "Eee"Yan ? that has also sort of bothered me.

2- why do you have a blog if you are never going to update? Seriously I would add you to my daily blog stalker list and I could probably get at least like 5 others to do so too, so you should really consider working into your daily dance regiment.

3- 90210....will there ever be a reunion movie? Ever???? If it happened, I could die a happy woman. No pressure or anything.

your fan

Jennifer Gordon

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Blogger moogan said...

jennifer, your letters are a riot. I can't say that I watch dancing with the stars but I was a big 90210 fan. i still have a copy of a 90210 magazine devoted just to the actors and the show. I bought two, one which i opened and the other still in shrinkwrap. enjoy the brisk columbus weather today! ps dylan was my favorite!

8:21 AM  
Blogger jewelstreet said...

I have to agree with moogan, Jenn. I wrote a letter last week, but your letters are so great that I'm embarassed with mine. I think I may start next week's letter now so I will be super prepared.

Btw, my grandmother, who is a total "stories" junkie, LOVED 90210.

8:53 AM  
Blogger RecyVintage said...

Dear Quentin Tarantino,

First let me say that I've been sitting on this letter to you for some time now. Second let me say that I realize that I will probably be flogged in a public arena for speaking ill about you at all but I'm willing to take that risk.

I know that many - MANY - people just adore you but honestly, I can't imagine why. I'm NOT among them.

For starters, you are a repulsive, knomish looking little thing aren't you? Honestly, I don't think I've ever seen a face that looks more like it is sucking on a Sour Patch Kid at all times than yours does. Not a good look. I'm sure Dr. 90210 could help you with that.

Secondly, and I guess my biggest beef with you, what is with all these gruesome, weird, whacked out, and extremely violent movies you make? Is that the ONLY thing you know how to do? Do you have brain issues? Is that why your face puckers up like it does? Hmmm... I might be onto something.

No seriously, Reservoir Dogs... ick. Kill Bill... ick. Sin City... ick. Pulp Fiction (I know most people loved it but...)... ick. Hello! Weird. Weird. Weird!

Admittedly, I'm more of a weird yet non-violent foreign film type girl but I'd rather watch Teletubbies than the smut that you produce. And, forgive me but I can't get your Sour Patch Kids face out of my head when I do attempt to watch them so it is a no-go for me on many levels.

Your status and "talent" (since some do actually call it that) just amaze and - as this letter will attest - somewhat repulse me.

I mean, each to their own but... ick.


Karen Beth Martin

10:18 AM  
Blogger Steph said...

I was going to write a letter, but never got around to it this week. Next week!

And why DOES Ian pronounce his name that way? Really, really bothers me.

10:41 AM  
Blogger jungle dream pagoda said...

You know ,in honesty theres nothing I really feel the need to corespond to a "celeb" about,but if I did it might go something like this:
Dear Idina Menzel,
Why is it you seem to have my life? 1st you get Rent,as Maureen,the quirkiest cool character ever(I thought I had cornered the market on quirky ingenues,oh ,I guess she's not REALLY an ingenue). Then its The Wild Party,as Kate,in the Lippa version no less! The 1st time I saw MR Speigelman's Beautifully drawn version of that 1920's poem,I knew it HAD to be a musical. Well atleast 2 other people agreed with me,as I only played Kate in the Lachiusa version.Ofcourse after doing 2 shows with the guy,you went and married the impossibly handsome Taye Diggs(no kids yet though,atleast I got that on you.)!...but heres the kicker,you play Elphaba on Broadway and win the Tony!@!!!Alright,I cried when I saw you in it,and I wanted you to win that Tony,it was for both of us rock sopranos,heck make that,for quirky rock sopranos everywhere!
your doppleganger, L-GG*

*truthfully I would never trade lives with anyone,but maybe for just a day with Idina,and ONLY if she was playing Elphaba!

11:21 AM  
Blogger said...

Okay. I really want to tell off Jude Law, for being so charming in "The Holiday" and for winning me over with his bull**** tears. However, I was really as messed up as his wife(ex), Sienna Miller, and his nanny must be, is he acting all the time???. I do not even want to write him because I am so annoyed.. But really, he acts so well as the loving wonderful caring sensitive guy...Is this how he gets Sienna to forgive him? Or his nanny to do him? And, and and...??? What is it with this guy.....Now I am annoyed....Love ya! Oh, I can;t stand this Eye-ann guy. he reminds me of an obnoxious kid I used to babysit.. hee hee hee......Sorry.... hee heee... Love ya, V

12:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

KB - I like your letter, Quentin is quite scary to look at but I admit I LOVE Kill Bill.

I am going to put on my best stalker hat now:

Dear Alanis -

I have continuously admired and supported you. Even through some of your less that stellar CDs, your short hair, your blonde hair, the remake of Seal's Crazy, finding out that you got did IT with the Full House guy, through it all, I was still your biggest fan.

Now, I love you EVEN more, hard to believe, huh? It was the "My Humps" video that did me in. Brilliant! I absolutely hate the song but your version really showcases the, ahem, quality lyrics.

"I'm Gonna Get Get You Drunk."

McKedge is ready to KILL me because I make him watch the video each night before we shut off the computer. [As of yesterday] Youtube says 1.5Million people have watched it and I am pretty sure I am the .5Million.

I love that you have a fab sense of humor, even after having to end it with HOTTIE Ryan Reynolds. Did you hear he was with Jessica Biel now? Major downgrade and ickiness factor on his part.

Should you further choose to connect to your fans via the youtube route, I suggest remaking Milkshake or how about going way way back and doing some Rumpshaker?


your #1 fan

P.S. Since your engagement was all called off, can we PLEASE get a Jagged Little Pill 2? Your latest albums are a bit too happy.

2:26 PM  
Blogger gilfling said...

Oh dear, I have nothing this week. Not even a hint of a celebrity letter to bring to you. But I love reading everyone elses!!

And I am so with Vanessa on the Jude Law thing, if I could be bothered to have an opinion on him I would say he is repulsive. (PS... I am lovely in real life...honestly!)

5:18 PM  
Blogger artandghosts said...

haha, i have never seen or heard of this stuff, but a highly entertaining post nonetheless!

im becoming more and more curious about these 'celebrity letters'.


11:53 PM  
Blogger Izabella said...

love this!!

I was such a huge fan of 90210, I wouldn't couldn't miss an episode!

your newest art is incredible!! if some of my art sells this week, I have my eye on a few of your pieces :)

xo ~Bella

1:51 AM  
Blogger Aaron said...

You know, people tell me I look like Quentin Tarantino a lot. The "repulsive, gnomish looking" dude. I'm just throwin' that out there.


10:30 AM  
Blogger stilettoheights said... don;t look like Quentin Tarantino...

just so you know.

And remember I always get the "you look like Alanis Morrisette, but not ugly"

all the time.

I'm always like, thanks...I don;t think she's ugly, but now I know you think I am just a little bit hotter than ugly.


10:37 AM  
Blogger Ming_the_Merciless said...

For me, it was Melrose Place. I literally lived and breathed Melrose Place. We even had a laundry/MP party in college. *blush*

11:00 AM  

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