Dear (Insert Name Here)
Dear Priscilla Presley
hey girl, what's up?
I saw you on Dancing With the Stars last night and you were amazing, seriously...you can dance, it was beautiful. You are in so many ways a living testament to what it means to be in your 60's...or I guess what it should mean.
Notice I said in some ways....um honey...what's up with your face???
You look like you a part Barbie doll, and part reject from a wax museum. You talked about how you wanted to dance to show the world that you can still do things when you are in your 60's...and blah blah...well how about aging gracefully? Perhaps dare I say...naturally?
Now, you are my mom's age, but sweetie, your face has less lines on it than mine. It's not normal, it's just not.
In fact looking at you made me sort of feel sad and uncomfortable. Now, I am a huge (HUGE) Elvis fan and fan of yours, and yes...even in many ways a fan of your trashy and crazy daughter but this torrid love affair you have going with Botox, well, it has to stop.
Now I know you have had an f-ed up life, Elvis warped your sense of reality by sheltering you for so many years but here's a little tip from me to you. In the "real world" people age, their foreheads get wrinkles and when they feel emotion it shows on their face.
Last night at one point I think you were crying, and it was touching, or I should say it would have been touching had I not been transfixed by the fact that your face did not change.
All this being said, you were still fierce and I did vote for you (well for a few of my votes).
I hope you stay on the show, I hope you stop with the Botox so you can look a little more "life like", and I hope your crazy daughter shows up a lot...all fat, pregnant, miserable, and nuts.