Stiletto Heights

I am Jennifer Gordon- a mixed media collage artist and comic writer living in Columbus OH, with my fiance and love- Keith. I specialize in paintings, ACEOS, journals, art boxes and more. I am always available for commissions! Visit my etsy shop at:

Monday, November 05, 2007

Embracing my inner Martha Stewart

Now I will say it once and I will say it again, I really believe Martha Stewart is just better than the rest of us.

No seriously I do, I know she is probably is bitch and yes, she is an ex con....but I don't care. I wanted to hate her for years but lately, well I just can;t bring myself to do it anymore.

Does this mean I am getting older, more, I don't think so, but it's hard to put my finger on it.

I find myself in the Martha Stewart section of Michael's and I am just in awe, jaw gaping open like a moron, speaking in breathy tones to my bubs.

me- look at this's beautiful
bubs- looks like glitter
me- yeah but look at it, it looks like shaved piece of real gold
bubs- hmmmm (clearly he is not looking anymore but at least he has not walked away)
me- I'm going to buy this
bubs- you don't even use glitter
me- I know but don't you think I should???

and so on and so on.....I have even started to take my "lunch break" sometime during 11-12pm during the week so I can watch about 10-15 minutes of it, oh, the things I see.....

she made a mold to make a candle out of a gord, she made decorative holiday platters using paper plates, a candle stick, and glitter...YES, GLITTER!!!!!

My mind starts reeling, I can do that, can't I??

then the food, the big piles of food on the pretty plates...yes, yes, I want that, I want that life, I want to make the baked goods and have the place settings and the gift baskets, the dinner parties and the sewn things.

It all seems so easy, so divine.

But then I realize... that I am in a Martha Stewart hypnotic spell, that her dark powers are ahving her way with me, I am not one of those people, with the making of the home goods.

seriously, last night I was hungry and and keith was not, left to fend for myself, all I was capable of making was warmed up mash potatoes...that's it, not even a veggie in sight.

I guess baby steps, right??? I mean I did warm up the potatoes on my own, which was a success of the microwave.

(last time I used the microwave I burned popcorn and the house smelled like fire)

so there you have it, lots of babble this monday morning.

it was a rough rough weekend, so forgive the banality of it all, I needed to focus on something other than "real life" for a little while, so instead "Martha Stewart" life seemed better.

ps- My friend Maryam was nominated for a very prestigious blog award (best Middle Eastern or African Blog) so please if you all get a second, if you could go and vote for her here it would be wonderful!!!!!

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Blogger Aaron said...

MStew's got nuthin' on you, JGo. For serious. And if you'll allow me to tarnish her image a bit, I've got to tell you, I bought some of "her" towels at K-Mart a few years back and they suck. Fo' sho.

Happy Monday, my friend!

8:16 AM  
Blogger Sobe said...

The closest I get to Martha is putting cranberries in a bowl and then floating white candles in it and calling it a centerpiece. Clever, hunh?!

9:48 AM  
Blogger CountryGirl_CityLife said...

martha is not human, no way possible. maybe she is a robot or maybe she is a triplet! that could explain all this time she has to cook, bake, create things, arrrrgh. I am jealous of her. Sorry your weekend is rough, I hope this week makes up for it!

10:02 AM  
Blogger Lucy said...

I have to admit, I find myself staying up late to watch her repeat of the daytime show I think on Fine Living channel--and I'm in awe of her, she actually seems somewhat human on the show....LOL. I saw the candle gord thing, too and wanted to immediately try it!

Several MS things are starting to get marked down--you have to look closely at the tags at Michael's because they have the same color and are still in the layout so you have to really be looking to see the price changes--just and fyi in case you are perusing the dept again soon :) (for glitter)!

12:09 PM  
Blogger alexgirl said...

You had me at glitter.

Yes, martha is a crazy genius. She's like a mad scientist with ribbon and scissors instead of a bunsen burner. How does she do it?!

I've got a project on the horizon having to do with copious amounts of glitter. I just need to get around to doing it. Ugh.

Sorry about the rough weekend. I'm sure things'll get better! If you're feeling down, just think about GLITTER!!!

12:22 PM  
Anonymous Karen Beth said...

I am also in awe of Martha even though I've not seen any of her line at Michael's. You are not the first I've heard to be in love with it all.

I also aspire to be "together" like she is, to create and do so many wonderful things, to have so many wonderful ides. But, then I forget that she has a team of people who help her think up and do these things.

Yes, that would probably help. :)


Karen Beth :)

12:51 PM  
Anonymous Izabella~ said...

Loved getting caught up with all of your wonderful posts!! girl you are amazing at writing ;)

You know Martha makes me feel quite inadequate as a mom, mother, human being! she has secret super powers & makes me look bad! she also found out the secret place where "to buy time" ;) xo!!

1:41 PM  
Blogger mtjoyschool said...

Have you found her website yet?.. lots of goodies there too. She is absolutely on her game at Halloween. Perhaps it's because, she is just a little spooky herself! I agree with you about her glitter-- I have several colors!

2:44 PM  
Blogger Chickenbells said...

Martha has a whole team of people at her disposal that she PAYS to come up with ideas...this is what I tell myself so I don't feel like a looser (did you see those little cardboard acorn and pine cone reproduction candy holders you can glue and glitterize while you were at the craft? I totally freaked out!)

6:04 PM  
Anonymous A Fanciful Twist said...

Helllooooooo!!! Guess whoooo??? Oh the MArtha Glitter is unreal!! I used it all last week. Only it is really fine, and well, yes, it is EVERYWHERE. Not just ehre and there, but everywhere..... Let's play glitter k?? I will cook, you glitter everything.... xoxo

8:21 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

I wonder what would happen if Martha Stewart and MacGuyver had a baby.

It would be the BEST BABY EVER.

8:25 PM  
Anonymous Noelle said...

But can Martha Stewart create what you can? I think she's jealous, she can put her name on some glitter, but she doesn't know what to do with it!

12:02 AM  
Anonymous Celise said...

One of my co workers lvoes to cook. She's always talking about something she made and she wants to have a show of her own on Food Network. I'm jealous. Everything she makes sounds so good! And I'm like you, Jen. The microwave is my best friend. I can make breakfast food. And some dinner food. But not a feast. Never a feast. And God forbid it be a health feast.

Thanks for email. I will definitely have to buy something of yours very very soon.

12:53 AM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Oh, Martha's glitter is extraordinary! I fell for the brown's luscious! Shiny & shimmery, yet deep & rich as dark chocolate. Yum!

Can't wait to buy every color!

(What Martha is really a marketing genius...)

2:55 PM  
Blogger saffron said...

Martha may be a bitch, but she sure has some great ideas! Too bad her stuff is so pricey too!!

1:40 PM  

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