Stiletto Heights

I am Jennifer Gordon- a mixed media collage artist and comic writer living in Columbus OH, with my fiance and love- Keith. I specialize in paintings, ACEOS, journals, art boxes and more. I am always available for commissions! Visit my etsy shop at: http://www.stilettoheights.etsy.com

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Dear (Insert Name Here)




**no theme this week...just show me what you've got

Dear Gwyneth Paltrow

Hey...it's been a long time, huh??? So....how's this whole "mommy" thing treating you.

Congrats on getting the cover of the September issue of W, that's huge, being the biggest fashion mag month of the year and all....I will be honest and tell you I really wish it would have gone to a model, but that might just be me.

I will also say that I did let out an audible groan when I saw the cover, " goddess gwyneth"...ugh, really....goddess, I though you stopped being at "it girl" shortly after the whole Ben Affleck thing.

I also noticed, that you seem to be looking a little dead behind the eyes, and I am not talking about death around the eyes in that sexy Gia Carrangi way.....but just like dead eyes.

Like a doll...and old tired doll.

I know you always had that stone fox ice princess thing going for you, and that worked...but this...well it's creepy. Did having babies literally suck the life out of you???

Then I hear that you will be playing the love interest in the new Iron Man movie....honey....you are no Pepper Potts....but I guess this is the thing to do, make a great super hero movie and add a lame female love interest played by a creepy robot woman....(a la Katie Holmes in Batman Begins).

Sorry Gwyendi...I speak the truth....I think that maybe you might need the help of a little chemicals before you do another photo shoot or public appearance....it might give you a little flare...perhaps a xanax and pinot griggio cocktail would work????

with that I will leave you, and hope with every ounce of my being that you don;t ruin Iron Man for me....

your friend
Jennifer Gordon

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12 Comments:

Blogger Craftymoose Crafts said...

Yikes! So Funny! (You are so good at these--it makes me glad I'm not famous! LOL)

8:28 AM  
Blogger Steph said...

Those are some creepy photos.

9:48 AM  
Blogger Space Oddities said...

LOL! Weird. She looks like a different person. Very odd.

10:25 AM  
Blogger Noelle said...

I just saw the episode of "Extras" with Chris Martin. What an affable guy. This photo spread must have nothing to do with her real personality because otherwise I have no idea how the two of them could share a life together. It's so creepy.

12:06 PM  
Blogger Sweet Spice said...

I totally thought the 2 bottom pictures were mannequins!!! death after mommyhood, a new celebrity syndrome =o)


http://sweetspicestory.blogspot.com/

1:33 PM  
Anonymous izabella said...

oh my gosh, this is hilarious!

I didn't even know who it was at first, she looks lifeless~ but I guess after 2 kids....

I think I look like that too sometimes after running around with my lil' ones :)

xo!! ~Bella

3:25 PM  
Blogger Chickenbells said...

Dude...is it me, or did she look better in Shallow Hal?

7:02 PM  
Blogger m.Lee said...

She looks like a corpse in the last photo.

HOT!

Dead women are hot. The less resistance we women put up the better!

7:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

she kinda looks like sienna miller - and i dont like it.

9:18 PM  
Blogger jungle dream pagoda said...

Those pics are definitely odd.I actually really like Gwynyth ,but haven't paid much attention to her lately. I just reinstated my W subscription so I'll probably miss this issue,hmmmm,just as well.

10:58 AM  
Anonymous annulla said...

Geez, I wouldn't have recognized her. Very corpse-like. And calling her a "goddess"? Ugh.

4:11 PM  
Blogger Ming_the_Merciless said...

Actually she looks like a very masculine drag queen on that cover. Yikes! What happened to our waif role model?

6:49 PM  

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