Dear (Insert Name Here)
**no theme this week...just show me what you've got
Dear Gwyneth Paltrow
Hey...it's been a long time, huh??? So....how's this whole "mommy" thing treating you.
Congrats on getting the cover of the September issue of W, that's huge, being the biggest fashion mag month of the year and all....I will be honest and tell you I really wish it would have gone to a model, but that might just be me.
I will also say that I did let out an audible groan when I saw the cover, " goddess gwyneth"...ugh, really....goddess, I though you stopped being at "it girl" shortly after the whole Ben Affleck thing.
I also noticed, that you seem to be looking a little dead behind the eyes, and I am not talking about death around the eyes in that sexy Gia Carrangi way.....but just like dead eyes.
Like a doll...and old tired doll.
I know you always had that stone fox ice princess thing going for you, and that worked...but this...well it's creepy. Did having babies literally suck the life out of you???
Then I hear that you will be playing the love interest in the new Iron Man movie....honey....you are no Pepper Potts....but I guess this is the thing to do, make a great super hero movie and add a lame female love interest played by a creepy robot woman....(a la Katie Holmes in Batman Begins).
Sorry Gwyendi...I speak the truth....I think that maybe you might need the help of a little chemicals before you do another photo shoot or public appearance....it might give you a little flare...perhaps a xanax and pinot griggio cocktail would work????
with that I will leave you, and hope with every ounce of my being that you don;t ruin Iron Man for me....