Stiletto Heights

I am Jennifer Gordon- a mixed media collage artist and comic writer living in Columbus OH, with my fiance and love- Keith. I specialize in paintings, ACEOS, journals, art boxes and more. I am always available for commissions! Visit my etsy shop at: http://www.stilettoheights.etsy.com

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Dear (Insert Name Here)

Your Celebrity Boob Twin:

Carmen Electra




**we're doing a theme today, write to your "Boob Twin", find your boob twin here.

Dear Carmen Electra

first I am going to wholeheartedly say I'm sorry for all the times I called you "Slutty McBig Boobs, and said all sorts of mean things about you when you are all whored up in the Taco Bell Commercials....

That being said, us being boob twins came as a bit of a shock to me....I mean, when I see you I see a woman who has these giant crazy and slutty boobs, how can we be the same.

I expressed my dismay to my bubs, asking if my boobs were in fact this slutty and crazy, then he got sort of a dreamy look on his face, and mumbled something about slutty boobs.

I take that as a yes.

So here we are, soul sisters if you will....perhaps in an alternate universe we are totally bff's, going bra shopping together and well...that's all I can think of.

But, then I remember Miss Boob...we do have things in common!!!!

You had a short lived comic book series "Embrace", I believe you were a whore/vampire in it, am I close??? Well, I too had (have) a comic book based on me, Stiletto Heights (also Petite Heights)...so see, we would have stuff to gab about.

Also....you were married to Dennis Rodman and Dave Navarro, those odd balls liked to wear makeup and women's clothes....they also had a very (un) healthy obsession with porn....well that no good hippie of an ex husband of mine I believe had the same cross dressing urges I believe. (yeah, I know....it's one of the MANY reasons he is my EX).

So Carmen, it appears that we go more than just boob deep (wait...did I just say "boob deep").

Also....I hear you're a big lesbian now, I gotta say if you're going to go gay, Joan Jett really is the way to go so that's pretty cool. I'm not currently a lesbian so we don't have that in common but I do think Angelina Jolie is white hot, so that counts.

So there you have it boob twin, I here by declare us new Bffs.

♥♥
Your Boob Twin,
Jennifer Gordon

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18 Comments:

Blogger Rafe Totengco said...

met Carmen at MTV Awards last year when we did a gifting suite and she wanted 3 bags even if each celeb was only allowed 1. I didn't give in of course.
I love Japanese fashion magazines. It's funny that you do too.

9:22 AM  
Anonymous nancypearlwannabe said...

Carmen was totally my boob twin, too. I have a feeling we're not twins in most other ways, though...

11:05 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Jenn- I LOVE it!!!!! Thanks for being crazy about boobies too. Well, not like that... they're fun accessories! :) Wait... that didn't sound good either. Sigh.

Anyways...

Dear Dita Von Tesse,

I have to come out and confess. When I first read that you are my celebrity boob twin I had to shout to my pop-culturally-obsessed roommate, "Who the hell IS this???". Her reply was "She was the one who married Marilyn Manson!!!". To which I shouted, "BUT SHE DIVORCED HIM, RIGHT???". Not that I want your ex-hub. Because, nosireebob I do NOT. More of I instantly felt the need to protect you. You know, since we're (celebrity boob) twins and all. It's like my sixth sense immediately kicked in. Twins have that, you know. So... what am I thinking right now Dita? Just joking!

First here are some observations I have of you:
- Damn girl. You have got a huge (and may I say- fabulous- rack).
- You married Marilyn Manson. Why? (I'm currently getting the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it).
- You have a dirty website: www.dita.net -interesting.
- You were one of People Magazine's 100 Most Beautiful People. I don't see any other people like you (ahem, Jenna Jameson) on that list at all.
- You were on America's Next Top Model. I LOVE that show. Now I want to watch them all again just to find you.
- Your boobs are way bigger than mine. There must be some sort of mistake. Wait. Maybe if I pose like you they'll look bigger, like yours. I'll experiment and get back to you.

So Dita-boob-twinny, we have a lot in common. Same coloring, same hot boobs*, love of America's Next Top Model. Our only differences are taste in whom we marry, and website activity.

Let's play together soon!
Love,
Michelle
Your favorite Normal-Person-Boob-Twin

* Yours are way hotter.

11:11 AM  
Blogger CountryGirl_CityLife said...

Hilarious letter, loved it!

Dear Paris Hilton -

Since we both have the same non-existent boobs, how is it possible that you manage to look so slutty all the time? You don't even have any curves anywhere to work with. As much as I try to put on something low cut, gold, and mini, and stumble around in pointy death traps, I still look somehow like I am playing dressup as a crack whore for halloween. I don't even come a teeny bit close to your powerful portrayal of slut. You must have some magical slutty powers deep within your chest or maybe it's your bedding that helps here, I think I am a few notches behind you (actually MUCH more than a few). If you could send me some of your friend Joe Francis's clothing line, I will see if that can help a girl bordering on A's out.

xoxo,

CGCL

11:17 AM  
Blogger Ming_the_Merciless said...

Carmen is my boob twins too. Yikes, it's time for me to lose some weight. Guys are not suppose to have boobs.

11:25 AM  
Blogger stilettoheights said...

Conrad...lol.....

12:10 PM  
Blogger Sweet Spice said...

lmao that was just awesome!! Mine is Charlize Theron, I have to think about what to say =o)


http://sweetspicestory.blogspot.com/

12:25 PM  
Blogger alexgirl said...

Dear Jennifer Aniston,

Now that we're boob twins, let's talk. How much plastic surgery have you had. Come on, you can tell me--we're BOOB TWINS! That is a bond beyond the doctor-patient confidentiality agreement.
It's just that, ever since I first saw you in the TV show version of Ferris Bueller's Day Off, I've noticed a few... changes. Your nose, your hair, the composition of your chin, perhaps? Not to mention you went from looking a little chubbs to full-on Linda Hamilton circa T2.
Anyway, I'm sure you have a few questions about me, too, so shoot me an email when you finish your next margarita.
xo,
Alex

12:40 PM  
Blogger Noelle said...

I was going to write a letter to Paris Hilton, but I'm going to have to redirect it to Countrygirl_Citylife instead. Even though I don't know this particular commenter, I will feel less dirty if I do it that way.

2:46 PM  
Blogger Steph said...

Inspired letter theme! Oh how I missed Wednesdays at Chateau Stiletto!

7:42 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

LOL! Mine was Anna Kourwhatsherlastname. You know, Enrique Iglesias' girlfriend. I shall write her a letter on my blog tomorrow. ; )

8:34 PM  
Blogger Cris Lazoru said...

Lovely post, so funny!

C.

9:30 PM  
Anonymous A Fanciful Twist said...

OMG!!!!! Hysterical!!! Everyone is soooo funny!!!!!

Countrycity person, toooo funny!!!!

Umm. Maybe I don't wanna play. My boobs had a rapid growth. So, I guess they could be, like ummm, I dunno some star who was flat and now huge. All of a sudden these things popped alive. So, here they are. No surgery, no nothing. I think they are made out of chocolate & potato chips...

9:41 PM  
Blogger Beej said...

Dear Claire Danes,

Wow. Since we're boob twins, I guess that you have manly, hirsute boobs. I can't even begin to tell you how much that disappoints me.

Sigh,
Beej

10:51 PM  
Blogger dusk&summer said...

Geez this is a creative post for sure. Ok here we go:

Miss Anna Kournikova:

I wish I had gotten someone more famous.

Boob twins for life!

5:28 AM  
Blogger Angela said...

I WISH Carmen was my boob twin. Ha! Thanks for a hilarious post.

7:22 PM  
Blogger Columbus Fashion Week said...

nice, i met her in Los Angeles she's incredibly sexy

1:57 AM  
Blogger Columbus Fashion Week said...

just found out, if i was a chick my boob twin would be Paris Hilton...wow kinda scary

2:02 AM  

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