this day of days
Good morning to you all….well good afternoon and evening to those lovelies across the country and world from me.
I hope you all had a delicious Tuesday…mine was pretty darn good if I don’t say so myself, got to spend the day wit my bubs, which was wonderful.
Though I will admit, I have already developed my own little ritual and routines with being home in my secret lair all day.
Having him here was wonderful, but I was “off” all day.
He was darling enough to take me out of the house for a while, we went on errands and a wee bit of shopping, he was kind enough to buy me for Valentine’s Day, a lovely and perfectly casual and adorable little black dress, less Audrey and more a Marilyn getting off the plane from Mexico dress, he also let me pick out the most ridiculously adorable skirt I have ever seen.
I am unable to photograph them yet as they are a “present” and I “can’t have them” until Valentine’s Day….which means I will probably have to wait for the photos, but trust me, they are so cute.
Now…where to wear them. I am aching for spring as I type.
I actually have to go to the comic shop today to work, today is the day that all the new comics come in, and it will be the first day I have been into the shop for work since giving it up a couple weeks ago (ok, a week and a half really).
I fee strange about it, a little off about the whole thing, almost strangely nervous.
Does this make sense? Keith and I built that store, the customers are our friends, and I am so looking forward to seeing them again, yet at the same time, I feel like a girl before the first day back at school.
I am also completely aware that it is no longer the house that Jenn (and Keith) built, and though I was happier than you can imagine to have given it up, well…it feels in many ways like seeing an ex boyfriend, someone you broke up with and were happy about it…but there is still that lingering feeling of unease when you run into one another.
(one of the many reasons why I love living 800 miles away from all of my exes)
I used to think I was petrified of change, though this transition that I have just been going through has shown me that I am not scared of change, but of looking back.
I am scared of regret.
I am scared most of all of being a disappointment, of letting people down. I am afraid when I see and talk with some of the customers that are very close to us, like family…that I will see a change in their eyes, ever so slight…but a change, like I had let them down.
this is one of the reasons Keith and I kept the shop as long as we did, the fear, that aching fear of disappointment.
I just want to be able to show them and say to them all that I am happy, that we are happier now.
Wow…ridiculously long and rambling post today, so sorry my darling ones.
Oh, and because this entire post had a theme of change and moving on…I have really tried to push myself and expand my artistic horizons as of late, so I worked on a collage that was different than most of mine so far, it was a still life.
Hope you enjoy it.
Thanks for reading this…wish me luck.